What would I be doing if I were in my element?
Sometimes I get so excited about something and I just want to drop everything and go for it! Usually they are entrepreneurial type things like paint portraits or open a resale shop. I don't know if anyone else gets a bug like this from time to time, but if you do, you know that it can be something different all the time. Which may sound haphazard, but when I take a closer look at my collection of passions, I realize they're all in the same vein.
Here I am in my cube sitting at my computer all day. I'm on my lunch break now so I'm using a little personal time to develop my thoughts by writing them out. I do things that I get excited about here and there, but nothing like the indulgent pleasure of dropping this and doing what I really want to do in this moment. If I were allowed to do these things the instant the idea hits me, what kind of person would I become? What would my world look like?
Today, I want nothing more than to garden. I want to tie my hair up, change into cutoffs and a tank top, and feel the sun on me while I dig in the dirt. I want to plant things and water them and work up an appetite, eat a good supper, then go to bed exhausted and sun-kissed. I want to physically work for it.
We have no yard. Only a cement-covered patio. There are a lot more obstacles to this dream, too. But I even savor making the plans to get there. Finish our lease. Move to a house with a yard. Begin work. I have started asking myself, "what's holding you back?" when I get excited about something. Overall, money, I guess. I hope once we're out of debt (3.5 years and counting down!) I'll realize the freedom to do these things.
I wonder if God gives me these bolts of ideas or if they're just the product of boredom. I tend to want to believe that he's giving them to me and, although I'm sure he understands my restrictions, he is calling me. I can feel it getting closer and if I look back, I realize I've already done some of the things that I used to consider out of reach. These are things that now enrich my life.
I wonder what the world would be like if we were all allowed to follow our passions? What's holding us back? Too much )c: