Monday, November 29, 2010

Week 11

The kiddo is the size of a large lime now! I can't believe it went from a strawberry last week to a big lime this week. That seems like a huge difference to me.

I have a constant "crowded" feeling in my lower abdomen. Have to be careful from changing from sitting to standing too fast because it can cause a sharp cramp. It seems early for this symptom but I still feel like I always have to pee (only gets worse I hear). Morning sickness (or 4:30pm sickness in my case) has gotten slightly more intense, but I am resting my hopes in that being gone in just 2 more weeks. Bright side: time is floating right along rather quickly. My most recent fascination is laying on my back for a few minutes, letting my muscles relax and gravity sink my guts down towards my back (sorry maybe not very pretty verbiage but it is what it is). After a short while, I run my fingers down from my stomach to right below my bellybutton and there is a definite bump. Yesterday morning while laying in bed at my aunt and uncle's house, it occurred to me to let Ryan feel it. He was awestruck, it was great. Later he said it made it more real for him. So precious. Will definitely want to remember that moment.

This afternoon I have an appointment with my OBGYN and after that I'll meet with their insurance person. I hope they don't have too many questions for me, lol, I really don't know anything. All I can do is give them my card and hope that tells them everything they need to know!

Flying While Pregnant

So I suddenly realized that I have to decide if I'm going to go on this work trip to Boca Raton, Florida. The trip is THIS WEEKEND. Woops, I knew it was coming up soon but now I have to decide, probably today, if I'm going. It might be a whole 4 days. I hear that the place we are staying is very nice, one of the nicest places in Florida. Ryan couldn't go with me and that's the big draw back. But I always learn a lot at these conferences and it would be an experience. I would be able to get a lot of rest in between meetings and eat tasty food. My only other drawback is flying... with all of the controversy with the TSA, plus being pregnant, I wonder if anyone has any recent experience flying and can give me an idea of what to expect, if anything is different from flights I have taken in the past.

Feedback please!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Some Will Win, Some Will Lose, Some Will Sing The Blues (that would be me)

If my first Salesperson rant was a tip, it would be: Do not show up unannounced.

Tip #2 is then: Keep your pitch as concise as possible.

I received an email this morning from a YP Rep. The thing is 1,534 words. Printed out with normal margins, Calibri size 11 font, this would be 2.25 pages. This rep also attached 2 spreadsheets and 6 PDFs for my review. The thing I said before about working with them over email eliminating jargon and saving time... that theory has been busted here. Her email explains everything in the spreadsheets and PDFs. One of her spreadsheets shows me 3 different proposals. My temptation is to look at the bottom line of each one, find the cheapest, and just write her back and say, "Go with this one." Seriously, I could care less about 3 different combinations of 10 different ads and statistics for specific areas. I am scared to look and see if she is meeting the financial goal I set... ok I'm going to look...

Let's put a Tip #3 in there: At least try to reach your prospect's goals.

As I feared. Her lowest proposal is at $716/mo. When I first spoke with her I told her I needed to get it down to $400. She has obviously done a lot of work and also written a lot of pitch to back up her recommendations. The other variable is that I like her. She seemed friendly, respective of my time, and she gave me the impression that she was really willing to work with me to meet the goals. Plus, she's pregnant too. I guess the proof is in the proposal...

Maybe it's a tactic. If I am going to offer a rebuttle, I will have to carefully read the cheapest proposal and find out where to trim back. I still haven't finished reading her email, it's just too long and I have to keep referring back to her supporting documents to make sense of it.

Anyway, on a more fun note, have you started/finished your Christmas shopping? We started back in September, thinking we'd really get the handle on it. Well, after one trip and a couple of purchases, we haven't made any more progress. I guess we'll be those who are doing it with everybody else... scratch that. I'm gonna do what I can online! Dont' forget to look for coupon codes before you make your online purchases. Google the store name and "promo code" and check out the top couple of results. You never know what you're gonna get.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Setting My Heart

I had this dream the other night that Ryan and I were in a new (to us) house. My mom and sister were there and helping us get settled. I remember the house so distinctly that I drew a floorplan of it later because I couldn't get it out of my head. I don't know if it has any significance but I thought it would be neat to record anyway.

So we were sitting at the back of the house on the closed-in back patio and someone brought me my baby. It was like the first time I had ever seen her. She had dark hair and eyes and she was calm and sweet. Ryan and I took turns holding her and we were both just amazed at how beautiful she was. We felt so lucky. In my dream, I called her Alvaree. Now I feel like I've attached my heart to that name and if we have a girl I just don't see it any other way.

All would be great except that Ryan isn't crazy about it. Am I going to be heartbroken if we find out we're having a girl and I can't name her what I want?

Is it really an awful name?


I'm trying to decide whether or not to go public with my blog.

I'm not looking to have a widely-read blog with ads or anything, I just would like to get more networked with my friends out there who have blogs that I don't know about and connect with more people. However, I do wonder if I would feel more restricted on what I say just because I don't know who's reading it. I am thinking more about the near future when I am trying to choose baby stuff, it would be nice to be able to write out my concerns and get feedback.

Any thoughts on this?

Morning Trek to the Coffee Pot

Haha, love this.

Monday, November 22, 2010

10 Weeks

Each week is a milestone this early on. But I thought it worth mentioning that I am now officially considered to be carrying a fetus. Tired, all the time tired. *yawn*

Thanksgiving later this week. Going to Fairfield. That's all I have the energy for at the moment... oh and wishing you all a happy Thanksgiving! Are you going to do the black Friday thing? Count me out!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Salesperson Rant

I really dislike meeting with Yellow Page reps. I really don't know how effective yellow page advertising is, but in my gut I don't feel like it's very effective to have a full page color ad vs. a simple free listing. So let's just say the company I work for was spending $XX,XXX.XX on yellow page advertising when I started here, and they asked me to cut it down 30%. I have achieved that goal and simultaneous become cold-hearted towards the reps. It was a necessary adjustment. Many of them get commissions from their sales, and we are probably a bigger account for many of them, so when I have to cut our spending with them in half or cancel completely in order to achieve the overall budget goal (aka do my job), I do imagine the stress they might be going through as they see their paycheck shrinking. I have imagined them having to break the news to their spouse, having lean Christmases with their children, and having small moments of personal despair and failure. Ok, I know my company's account can't mean that much to them, but I did try to have a heart and be understanding.

At first I had a hard time telling them we need to cut back. I would notice that look in their eyes and read into their personal disappointment, but fight to remain professional. I had to build up a callous to it. And you know what, I've decided that if I'm going to do my job, I've got to be stronger, and if their job gets to the point where it sucks that bad, they can find a new job!!!! This realization has helped me build that emotional fence that has now become akin to the Great Wall of China, just in a metaphorical emotional barrier sense. When I meet with them now, I decide ahead of time what we are going to spend with them and I tell them, "We need to cut this down from $1200 a month to $300." I picture myself like a square-jawed 5 star army general. I am not budging on this, all the while knowing if we can get it down to less than $600 we'll be in the clear. Then they feel like you've given them something, you see? Hah.

Although I have grown a lot and become better at this aspect of my job, I still dislike these meetings. Each time having to sit through the jargon of, "We just want to do whats best for your business," and, "We have a great new Internet program that will boost your search engine results!," and, "If you buy this a quarter-column triple line color ad and you put a bold listing in the white pages, you get the discount on this other 1/2 page display ad." (their pricing matrix is a web of confusion intended to hurt you).

Usually, a rep will call and make an appointment to meet and discuss advertising. I always ask if we can just review it over email or fax - this cuts down on the jargon. Some of them say that the company they work for requires that we meet in person (not part of this rant, but, if that is less convenient for your customer, then your policy sucks!). For those, I make appointments.

However, when I receive a call from our receptionist (I can hear it in her voice because she knows how I feel about these people), "So and so is here to see you about yellow page advertising." I glance at my planner. No appointment. I have always agreed to meet with them despite how I shouldn't have to. I think about the company's image and trying to imagine them as customers, spending lots of money at our stores and telling their friends about us in their off time.

Today I gained a small satisfaction. I was on a conference call for over an hour this afternoon. I noticed the receptionist tried to buzz me three times during that hour, but because I was using my phone I couldn't pick up. When my call was over, she brought up a business card and said that this rep had been waiting to meet with me in the lobby but finally gave up. I didn't recognize her name or the phone directory she worked for. IN YOUR FACE! SHOULD HAVE MADE AN APPOINTMENT!!!!!

I just want to say, if I am YOUR customer, I think it's extremely rude to think I am going to drop everything and listen to your sales pitch. End of story.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Anatomy of a Cloth Diaper

Wow this is an ongoing topic, isn't it?

I thought for everyone's benefit (including my own) I would post some pictures explaining how a cloth diaper works.  I think I have fallen for a system called Flip.  I have read a lot of rave reviews on them and they seem to be the best value (plus they come in great colors!)  These images and the purple text are all from Flip

The Flip™ Diaper System is a flexible, hybrid cloth diapering system that provides options for every occasion. The one-size cover and three choices in absorbent inserts make diapering your baby less expensive, easy and perfect for where-ever, when-ever.
1. TOSS the used insert in your diaper pail
2. CHOOSE the best insert for the occasion: Stay-Dry, Organic or Disposable
3. REUSE the cover
A Flip diaper cover used with a Stay-Dry Insert is perfect for overnight & anytime use. Made of 3 ultra-absorbent layers of microfiber and a smooth stay-dry suede cloth that wicks moisture from your baby’s bum. Flip Stay-Dry Inserts work to keep your baby drier, longer. 

Look for other inserts within the Flip System— each customized to conveniently work within the Flip Cover.
••Organic: Perfect for sensitive skin, overnight, and supporting early potty training.
Stay-Dry: Perfect for overnight and anytime.
Disposable: Perfect for travel and convenience.
Before First Use: For cotton products, wash hot (100F/40C) 3-5 times.
Use: Do not use rash creams.
Dirty Storage: Store in dry pail/bin.
Wash: Use laundry tabs if available. Pre-wash cold. Wash hot (100F/40C) with bumGenius detergent. Extra rinse. No laundry additives. Line dry cover. Tumble dry insert. No fabric softeners. Use ¼ cup or 60 mL bleach in the hot wash once per month.
Cover Outer: 100% Laminated Polyester
Cover Tabs: 95% Polyester, 5% Spandex
Insert Stay-Dry Layer: 100% Polyester
Insert Absorbent Layer: 80% Polyester, 20% Nylon
2 one-size covers and 6 one-size stay-dry inserts

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Diaper Duty

In my preliminary research, I consulted the interwebs to find out what things you need to do cloth diapering.  A quick Amazon search showed me just how many accessories there are.  Different fits, sizes, types, fabrics, fasteners, chlorine-free this, bamboo that... I was overwhelmed!

Still not sure I understand, but from what I can tell, there is the generic cloth part that is next to the baby.  Then a cover goes on top of that (often fun and colorful!).  Then there are the AIO (all-in-one) that are pricey but they are the cloth and cover in one.  I am assuming you would use this when you're out to make the process easier.

Between and a few other sites, and pricing the items on Amazon, I put together a loose list of things I'd need or want and an estimated price (I was generous with myself... if I'm going to do this, it has to be the most convenient that it can be and it STILL has to save us money! do I hear an amen?)

  • Diaper pail $12
  • Washable liner $6.50 (could just do trashbag liners if we don't want to be green)
  • Deodorizing disks $2.35/mo. (they go in the diaper pail)
  • 2-3 dozen cloth baby wipes $15
  • 24-36 cloth diapers $45
  • Toilet Nozzle $50 (for preliminary washes where most of the poo goes in the toilet)
  • Diaper Area Wash $9 (I am assuming this is to spray the bum before the wipeage)
  • All-In-One Diaper $20 (they just recommended one to start out to see if you like it)
  • 4-6 Cloth Diaper Covers $75
  • 12 to 24 Doublers $35 (extend the absorbency of the diaper for nighttime or heavy wetters)
  • Diaper Detergent $12 (do I need it?  I don't know!)
Those items plus an estimated increase of $30 to my utility bill due to the extra laundry each month brings me to $311.85 starting up.  I estimate that I'll have to buy deo-disks and diaper-area wash every month in addition to the utilities.  Every 4 months I'll have to buy more detergent.  About every 6 months, new cloth diaper covers in the next size up.  For fifteen months, this adds up to  $1,076.75.

According to the great wide Internet, disposable diapering cost anywhere from $80 to $130 per month.  At the lowest, for 15 months we'd pay $1,200, at the most, $1,950.

So the cost effectiveness is there.  What about the convenience?

The Truth About Cloth

I think I'm pretty sold on doing cloth diapers. The more I hear and read up about them, the more I realize that they have come a long way towards making them convenient. They're supposed to be better for the baby's skin, less expensive, and - of course - eco friendly. Tonight I'm going to look up what I know and do a little math. I have been told that diapers can cost about $100 a month. It's easy to assume that cloth diapers are expensive up front, but pay off in the end. I wonder though, after purchasing all of the accessories to aid convenience, is it really cheaper? And is it worth it? I am surprised with the whole green movement that I don't know more babies in cloth diapers, so what is the catch? We'll find out later!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Dreams Becoming A Reality

So today I can totally feel my uterus. It's uncomfortable. Not as soft as I would have thought. Pressure, pinching... the kiddo probably is not too happy about it either. *sits up straighter* <-- that helps. The baby's the size of a strawberry now. Everything's supposed to be fully formed, just a matter of getting bigger and cuter (c: I hope it's got it's daddy's personality!

Morning sickness has gotten worse, but it's the worst in the evenings. However, I did throw up again yesterday. Apparently brushing my teeth was too much for my gag reflex. Taking my prenatals has become difficult for the same reason. I'm doing good if I take one every other day. It's bad, I really should be taking them more faithfully.

I realize I'm not as sick as some women get, and I'm thankful for that. If I could stay in bed all day I'd be peachy.

Last Friday I was lucky enough to get to participate in a little event with Ellen. She set up a booth for her Pampered Chef stuff. There were about 5 other ladies there with similar booths, all representing a different business and products. That was my first time I "exposed" my work in public and had the gall to ask people to pay me to paint for them. That's what it felt like. The turnout was bad, but the response of the 4 or 5 people I did talk to was good. One lady I spoke with is a photographer who is interested in offering my services to her clients. I offered to do a portrait of her 2 sons for half price so she could have a sample. I hope that was enough of an incentive... eek.

My boss asked to see some of my work. I showed him the ones of my brother and sister and he was polite about it. I walked away a little disappointed though, to be honest. I thought maybe he would ask me to paint his two beautiful little girls. I started to see the flaws in my work. I knew they were there and I knew I would have to up my game to do it professionally. For the "show" I had been working on my first non-family member, miss 1 year old Ellie Mae, Ellen's baby. It's not quite finished, but I did feel like I needed to put a lot more into it and really work to make it the best I can do. Feels good to be challenged.

Yesterday, my boss did ask me to paint his girls afterall. In all of this, I have learned I just need to remember to be confident.

One commission before Christmas - yay! The money will make the holidays much less tight!

Friday, November 12, 2010

#ThingsInMyDreamNursery: Hanging Stars

Secured securely to the ceiling, of course (c;

Would You Be Mine, Could You Be Mine? Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Yesterday morning I had another ultrasound.  It was the third one in my almost 9 weeks of pregnancy.  Despite overachieving their instructions to come with a full bladder, and despite the humorously unpleasant process of the technician pressing hard on that balloon while we watched the screen, it was a good time.  I learned that my blood clot is gone (uh, YAY!) and I got to see the tiny person wriggling around.  Got new ultrasound pictures, only slightly more to see than before.  And we're right on track at almost an inch crown to rump.  All's good in this neighborhood.

My evening plans with my coworker got canceled, but it turns out we both had our reasons not to go.  She was getting new furniture delivered and I was not feeling that great.  I went home, cleaned the kitchen, and started to make some cinnamon sugar biscotti.  The dough was so good I kept eating it... sorry.  Once that was in the oven, I started on the Texas BBQ chili.  When Ryan's mom gave us the crock pot, she also gave us a couple of crock pot cook books.  One of them is Sandra Lee's semi-homemade meals.  We have used several of those recipes, but the BBQ chili is one of the best!  It was easy (except for the fact that I accidentally bought whole canned green chilies instead of diced and I had to slice those slimey suckers!) and it made the place smell tasty.  I really wanted to make some perfect sweet corn bread to go with the chili, but I could not find the recipe anywhere!  And the recipe we have really is perfect - it comes out exact every time.  Oh well )c:

The biscotti is for tonight's event.  Looking forward to dipping it in some hot cocoa (c:  (Is someone bringing hot cocoa?)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Let This City Take You In (Come On Home)

For the past few months I have been wondering what has happened to my drive.  I used to think of nothing but going home and working on my latest project, whether that be sewing something, hanging something, painting something, whatever.  I loved that motivation and creativity that I felt like I was bursting with, so much to the point of wanting to quit my job so  I could have more free time. 

That would have been a mistake, thankfully I did realize that.  Maybe my evil logical side won out and convinced my creative, reckless self to go away entirely for a while.  It is a pity, but maybe it has what has helped me to keep my responsibilities, lol. 

I am getting a taste of it back, though, this time with some credibility!  It's like my two selves have merged and figured out a way to work together!  My friend Ellen asked if I would like to be involved in a little 'Christmas Bazaar' event they are having.  She is a Pampered Chef consultant and she has several friends with other similar businesses.  Mary Kay, Stella Dot (a jewelry company), Thirty One (custom embroidered bags), Willow House (a branch of Southern Living home decor), and Scentsy (candles? I think?).  I helped them come up with the little promotional invite they had printed and they are going to let me have a table and display my portraits.  If all goes ideally, I will get some portrait commissions by the end of the evening!

This evening, watching Family Feud while I chill.  After that, going to get my paint game on!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

List of Things People Can Do to Help Families With New Babies

This is taken from another blog, I know it's early to be considering these things, but I thought if you know anyone who will have a new baby sooner than me and you would like to help them out, then these are some good ideas.

I have adapted it for myself, though, haha!


"Let me know if I can help you in any way when the baby is born." … "Just let me know if you need a hand." … "Anything I can do, just give me a call."

Most pregnant women get these statements from friends and family but shy away from making requests when they are up to their ears in dirty laundry, unmade beds, dust bunnies and countertops crowded with dirty dishes. The myth of "I'm fine, I'm doing great, new motherhood is wonderful, I can cope and my husband is the Rock of Gibraltar" is pervasive in postpartum land. If you're too shy to ask for help and make straight requests of people, I suggest sending the following list out to your friends and family. These are the things I have found to be missing in every house with a new baby. It's actually easy and fun for outsiders to remedy these problems for the new parents but there seems to be a lot of confusion about what's wanted and needed…

1. Buy us toilet paper, milk and beautiful whole grain bread.

2. Make us a big supper salad with feta cheese, black olives, toasted almonds, organic green crispy things and a nice homemade dressing on the side. Drop it off and leave right away. Or, buy us frozen lasagna, garlic bread, a bag of salad, a big jug of juice, and maybe some cookies to have for dessert. Drop it off and leave right away.

3. Come over about 2 in the afternoon, hold the baby while I have a hot shower, put me to bed with the baby and then fold all the piles of laundry that have been dumped on the couch, beds or in the room corners. If there's no laundry to fold yet, do some.

4. Come over at l0 a.m., make me eggs, toast and a 1/2 grapefruit. Clean my fridge and throw out everything you are in doubt about. Don't ask me about anything; just use your best judgment.

5. Put a sign on my door saying "Dear Friends and Family, Mom and baby need extra rest right now. Please come back in 7 days but phone first. All donations of casserole dinners would be most welcome. Thank you for caring about this family."

6. Come over in your work clothes and vacuum and dust my house and then leave quietly. It's tiring for me to chat and have tea with visitors but it will renew my soul to get some rest knowing I will wake up to clean, organized space.

7. Come over and give my husband a two hour break so he can go to a coffee shop, pub, hockey rink or some other r & r that will delight him. Fold more laundry.

8. Make me a giant pot of vegetable or chicken noodle soup and clean the kitchen completely afterward. Take a big garbage bag and empty every trash basket in the house and reline with fresh bags.

These are the kindnesses that new families remember and appreciate forever. It's easy to spend money on gifts but the things that really make a difference are the services for the body and soul described above. Most of your friends and family members don't know what they can do that won't be an intrusion. They also can't devote 40 hours to supporting you but they would be thrilled to devote 4 hours. If you let 10 people help you out for 4 hours, you will have the 40 hours of rested, adult support you really need with a newborn in the house. There's magic in the little prayer "I need help."

Monday, November 8, 2010

Week 8

Yesterday marked 8 weeks of pregnancy for me, Ryan, and the NiƱo. According to my sources, the kiddo is the size of a pinto bean, but by the end of this week will be more like 1" long crown to rump. My uterus is about the size of a grapefruit, so I like to think there's a lotta space to swim around in there. So far today, I haven't had any nausea medicine and it's going alright so far. My appetite is not good, but that could be because I've been slowly munching all morning (helps with nausea to always have something in the stomach, but bad for lunch appetite). I keep a 2-liter bottle of water under my desk. I fill it up every morning and make sure I have emptied it by the time I go home. I would say staying hydrated is the number one help for my nausea.

I was surprised to learn how big my uterus supposedly is. A grapefruit? Surely I'd notice that!? I can't see a visible difference, but I can certainly feel it. It feels cramped in there, and every so often when I move a certain way, I can feel it pushing against... whatever its pushing against.

On Thursday I have another sonogram. I am excited about it - hoping I will be able to see more than a nondescript little blob. Also hoping that they will tell me my bloodclot is gone - return to normal life! I am so, so, SO hoping for that - if you would pray with me for that, I would be truly grateful.

We saw a lot of Ryan's family at Carolee's funeral this past weekend. Carolee was my mother-in-law's only sister and they were very close. She died very suddenly last Monday when she had a heart attack and it cut off oxygen to her brain. She is definitely in Heaven now, so although nobody expected it, I think now that the funeral is over, the family has some peace about it. We will just miss her very much.

Everyone was excited for us. Memaw told us over and over to tell that baby about Jesus and pat my tummy and tell the baby that we love it. She had 6 children, and she said she didn't know unborn babies could hear. She wished she had known to talk to her babies.

So, now I'm trying to decide if I should go to the breakroom and have lunch or if I should start on tomorrow's work (since some of my tasks today have been postponed).

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Maybe, Maybe, Maybe You'll Find Something That's Enough To Keep You

So let's just talk about yesterday.

Wow, I felt good. After I got off work, I rushed home to heat up some not-very-appetizing leftovers, change, and open my new preggie pops that I received in the mail (yes!). Putting on comfy pants with a t-shirt, a fluffy hoody and sneakers made me feel slightly invincible. I wolfed down my food while I talked to Ryan on the phone, then I grabbed my keys and headed back out into the drizzly cold evening. I took my time driving, mostly because it was sketchy weather, but also because this was the first time I had been "out" for several weeks. I didn't realize how good it would feel. It probably helped that I felt good... nay, I felt great! I was soaking it up. I'm sure I just felt normal, but returning to ones normal self after feeling weary, sickly, and slightly depressed for a couple of weeks was - by comparison - better than ever!

(As a side note, hoodies really help my mood. I totally feel cushioned on all sides and that just adds so much to making me feel invincible. I am surprised there is not a super hero with a hoodie, maybe that's what the world needs.)

When I arrived and stepped out of the truck, I smelled the sweet, wet pine. It really did smell so good. Didn't realize how much I had been hiding in a hole and missing out on these experiences that I normally took for granted. Plus it was so chilly! In my hoodie, I welcomed it. When I got inside church I was greeted by all those familiar faces. Gail, Molly, Rachel, Pam, Amy, Maddie, Tammy... even Christine showed up with Rachel! Everyone was so caring and it was great to have a few minutes to catch up. Shortly afterwards, Ruby showed up and it was so fun to have her and Christine there. We sat down and got ready to listen. Rachel had something important to talk about: sex! Men talk about sex, porn, and masturbation in small-group settings all the time. Women talk a lot about sex I think. But when it comes to women dealing with porn and masturbation, it is much less acceptable, and women feel A LOT more ashamed. In discussion, Maddie made a really good observation. She said she noticed that girls who had confessed to having premarital sex were far more accepted that girls who had problems with looking at porn or masturbating. For some reason we just get weirded out about that. Honestly it's really out of my comfort zone to post here on my blog about it. Married women even have trouble being open with their husbands about it, which is really weird when you think about it. Someone who is so accepting and sexually open to you doesn't know your sexual struggles. I think everyone agreed that it should be more talked about, at least one on one, women should find someone with whom they can talk to, if for nothing else to know they are not alone. For practical purposes, to eventually be able to get freedom from it. Why? Because it really does affect relationships and your ability to do more for God.

Further than that, homosexuality. Women are more comfortable talking to/being friends with/accepting a gay man. But when it comes to those things with homosexual women, I have to admit, I am considerably more uncomfortable for reasons you can probably understand. But there is a real problem with how Christians treat homosexuals. We treat it like it's a disease instead of a sin. I really want to get to a place where I can understand and love the person better and see them how God does. That's something I've got to work on, and I am. I think about it pretty often.

Anyway, it was a great discussion as you can probably imagine, and one that could have lasted for hours.

Afterwards, Ruby, Rachel, Christine and I met up at Burger King and spent a few minutes enjoying some Davis 1/2-ness. I wish we had more time! And I felt so good!! I really don't know why. I decided not to take my 2nd Dramomine yesterday so that I could give the lollipops a shot if I needed something (I didn't). This morning I skipped the meds again and made it until lunch when I finally took one. I wasn't feeling too bad, just worried it would get worse. I did have a mint lollipop this morning. It was ok... I think it did help though.

Now it's 2pm and I'm powering through! Back to work (c:

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

My Favorite Office Talk Quotes

Ms. Vicki

"Did you see 'Praise the Lord' last night? Girl, go'on!"

"Black pepper? Oh gawd! It's messed up. --- I say! --- She said it was off the train, she like it like that."

"Yeah they got big nice pots ov'dere. How many chickens you cook? --- You a liar!"

"All in the bedroom. Mmmhmm. Crank up the big boy!"

"Oh, naw. LCD. I don't mess with them plasma.-- Nah, I don't even buy plasma. -- Cuz them plasma goes out in them after while and I ain't never heard nobody say it happened but I just know about them plasmas."

"It's just like the devil. It's just like it. He be hatin', you know?"

Ms. Jacki

"Well, I'm sure he liked you, but – you know, just wait and see. – Maybe it's not but maybe it's not you, you know?"

"Did she give you any of them? – Did she give you any enchiladas? – Did SHE give YOU any enchiladas?"

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Lull and the Stress

So I guess there are times in every pregnancy where there's not a lot going on. I feel like all I'm doing is complaining lately. I only feel sick and tired all the time. I had gotten so much sleep recently and over the weekend that I thought I'd try to do some things last night that needed to be done. But I got dog-tired before I could finish. Could that tiny person, not even 1/2" yet, be pulling on my body so hard that I need 9-10 hours of sleep? By 8pm it feels like way past my bedtime, and all I can think about is sweet bed.

My days consist of drudging through work, going home and getting on the couch to flip between 'Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader' and 'Don't Forget the Lyrics,' then, 'Family Fued' and 'That 70's Show' until I take my early bedtime. All the while knowing I should be continuing my munching regiment but too tired to find something to eat. At work, I've been trying to keep something in my stomach without cluttering my desk with munchies and the front of my shirt and lap with crumbs. Even then, I get queasy. Not enough to throw up, thank goodness, but enough to make everything a miserable task. Day after day.

And there's a blood clot in my uterus and fluid on one of my ovaries which means life gets to be even more drab, as most of my closer friends know. I am not worried, but I feel bad for Ryan as he has to endure almost 6 more weeks of this. I feel like a vegetable. I'm no fun and of no use at all. This is not how marriage is supposed to be.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the week before Christmas. At least then my morning sickness is supposed to let up. Holidays with the family will be wonderful. In January we should be able to find out whether we're having a boy or a girl. I feel like things will flow from there. We'll start readying our apartment.

I have no idea how life is going to unfold. I don't like the complexity of our situation. It's a puzzle and we can't figure out how it fits.

Ryan graduates in May, he can stay with his job until June.
Baby is due June 19.
Our apartment lease is up in June.

Unless he finds a job here, we will have to move shortly after the baby's born (like... within a week).
When/if we move, I will have to quit my job so I will lose my health insurance, so we can't move until after the baby's born.

Oh God, what do we do?


Here's to Luke, who gave his life this day 4 years ago being a Marine and protecting our country. We miss you, but we'll see you again some day.

I have to not cry at work so I will just remember one time when I passed you on a back road somewhere. I recognized your little green civic and I was of course in my little black civic. We both pulled over and backed up and just had probably the most normal conversation ever.

I miss you and the the possibility of seeing you when I'm back down in San Antonio. Everyone knows you had your moments, but we love you for them.