It's 2p.m. and Declan just got quiet. I'm holding my breath.
More and more every day a little piece of my desire to know all there is to know about baby sleep gets chipped off by the impossibility of this one bit: 2 to 1 nap transition. I've talked and typed about this monumental event since he turned 13 months. That's when it all started.
We were trucking along merrily for a few weeks with 1hr+ naps at 9am and 1pm and bedtime at 6:15pm, wake up at 7am. It was glorious! I had read about the transition to 1 nap and I had been forewarned about resisting the urge to rush it (which I was determined not to do) and that it was going to be a difficult few weeks or even months, no matter what. I read that most babies don't transition until they are about 15 months old, too, so when his 2nd nap started to shorten at 13 months, I was very confused and panicky. To make sure he didn't get overtired, I moved his bedtime earlier to 5:30. A couple of weeks went by and the 2nd nap was short or nonexistent most days, despite my efforts. I knew it was too early for him to go to one nap, but I joined other moms of 13 month olds on forums asking the same questions that I was.
Now that Declan is 15 months old, I'm back on the boards. Most days he has been refusing his morning nap, or taking it so late that there was no chance for a second nap. Some days he will still take his two naps (like today). I can't help but know this too shall pass, but it doesn't stop me from clamoring to find out what to do.
Do I wake him up if his nap occurs too late in order to protect his next nap or bedtime?
Should I keep offering a morning nap each day and only give him one nap if he refuses the morning one?
Should I just push him to one midday nap from here on out, brace myself, and wait for the dust to settle?
I've had lots of people tell me to push him to one nap. It's not enough, and he's very overtired by bedtime, which makes for a rough night and early wake up.
So our days are filled with catch 22s. I'll probably never find the perfect solution, but it helps to have the mentality of taking each day as it presents itself. And I'm very thankful for an easy going little boy, who's temper doesn't vary a whole lot if he has a bad day of sleep.
Showing posts with label baby sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby sleep. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Sleep for Newborns - 6 Weeks Old
I think some parents might find it relieving to know that it's okay if you don't want to start sleep training right away. Maybe you feel like some crying is inevitable, but you aren't comfortable with letting your newborn, 6 week old, or even 4 month old do that just yet. I hope that if do you feel this way, it will be encouraging to know that you can take your time and still gently ease your baby into good sleeping habits by taking advantage of the brain development milestones that occur naturally.
Less than 6 weeks old
Babies typically fall asleep at night very late and do not sleep very long during the day or night. They have no circadian rhythms at this point so you can't set your baby to clock time yet. Try to soothe him to sleep during the day or night before he gets overtired. Always respond to the baby and avoid the overtired state.
After 6 weeks
80% of babies become more settled and start sleeping longer at night (this is because of increasing brain maturity), and begin to get drowsy for bedtime at an earlier hour. Try to start soothing earlier to facilitate this when you start to notice it. You're still not sleep training at this point, so if you still want to go to your baby when he cries, follow your instinct. Begin taking advantage of opportunities to put your baby down drowsy but awake. It doesn't have to happen every nap and every night, but you will notice that sometimes it is easy to put him down and let him fall asleep on his own. The more you can do this, the more comfortable your baby will get with falling asleep on his own in his bed.
20% of the babies who do not start settling into better sleep at night should still be soothed early, but more time should be allowed for lengthy soothing sessions.
In my opinion, a mom should not feel guilty about feeding or rocking her baby to sleep especially at this very young age. It's natural for a baby to fall asleep while eating, so don't feel inclined to wake your baby up before putting him to bed. Realize how important complete sleep cycles are to the developing brain, and focus on still, quiet sleep as much as possible. Avoid waking or keeping the baby up longer than 1-2 hours. Ideally you are able to always have the baby sleeping in his bed in a still, quiet room (this matters more and more the older they get as newborns sleep through anything!) You're not training yet, you're setting a foundation for a well-rested baby who will be better prepared for sleep training later.
Tips to set a good foundation:
• Respect and protect your baby's need to sleep.
• Anticipate and prepare for when your baby will need to sleep, the same way that you anticipate a feeding.
• Maintain brief intervals of wakefulness, a 1-2 hour max window (baby needs to be asleep by the 2 hour mark)
• Watch for drowsy cues and respond with soothing immediately.
• Start developing a bedtime routine that you can replicate in whole every night (i.e. bathtime, story, feeding, soothing, bed).
• Remember timing is key. For those 80% of babies who start settling at 6 weeks, perfect timing produces no crying.
All this info, except what I specified as my own opinion, is paraphrased from the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
It's About the Hormones!
This is a little about the biological way that baby sleep works to help you unlock your own child's ability to sleep. This is not about method, it's about arming you with knowledge.
SCIENCY STUFF
Sleep is controlled by the brain (not the stomach!). Melatonin is released when it's time for babies to fall asleep. Think of it as a wave of sleepiness. Babies have waves of sleep windows that occur throughout a 24 hour period. So when they are kept up past that wave of tired, their bodies release cortisol from the stress of being fatigued. (Excessive cortisol from being frequently tired does a lot of bad stuff, look it up if you're interested.) So what you want to do is catch the wave! Put your baby to sleep when he or she first shows sleepy signs. Keeping them up will make it harder for them to fall and stay asleep.
999 out of 1000 times (yes this is a rough estimation), keeping your baby up later, swaddling, pacifiers, more food before bedtime, etc. will NOT fix the root of the problem (it can actually make it worse). Whether you have a short napper, nighttime sleep troubles, difficulty getting your child to sleep, or an early waker, the answer is almost always MORE SLEEP (Yes it sounds too good to be true, but it isn't). The more sleep your child gets, the less the melatonin secretion is being suppressed by the cortisol and your child will start to play catch up and the sleepy signs will become more noticeable. Once your child starts getting more sleep, you should see a dramatic difference in the length, quality, and ease of falling asleep within 4-5 days, if not sooner.
Now that you know that, maybe you can start figuring it out on your own with your method of choice. Sometimes habits need to be broken, or schedules need to be changed, and if you still have questions or need help, please feel free to ask!
INTERESTING FACT:
8-10 hours of sleep a night for a baby may sound good but it is not ideal! Your baby is more than likely capable of getting 11-12 hours in addition to one to two 1 hour+ long nap(s) - depending on the age, and probably needs that much! I acknowledge that there are exceptions to this, but your baby is probably not it!
Other sleep posts:
Sleep for Newborns - 6 Weeks
Is Your Baby Overtired?
Sleeping Through The Night?
4-8 Month Old Naps
Crashing
Crashing II
PASSIONATE ABOUT SLEEP
I am not a sleep consultant. I just want to collect and organize my reading and experience with my own child to help myself and others find solutions to help their child sleep. I have a passion for seeing a family enjoying life together because they are rested. I think that when a person is relieved from the burden of fatigue, they are able to function in a way that is truer to their very best.
Imagine how much more that means to a baby
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
9 Months Old: It Feels Like We Have Arrived
So much has happened with Declan over the past few months. And apparently there was a lot going on with me and I haven't had time to update my blog and tell the world. Declan started crawling at 7 1/2 months, and days after, started pulling up and cruising too. It all happened so fast! Maybe that's why I'm busier...hmmm...
Teeth Update
He has had 2 bottom teeth for a while now (I may have already blogged about that?) and he's just started working on his two uppers. The gums have been swollen for a day or two and I just noticed before I put him down for his nap how red one of them is. He is still all smiles though. Teething has never been hard for him. I blamed a lot of his extra fussy times on teething and we often gave him Tylenol when he probably didn't need it. "Teething" has never disrupted his sleep, thank God. I like to think that it's because he's rested and we've trained him well how to sleep. I'll get to that later though... you know I will.
Talking
He vocalizes a lot, saying "ma ma ma ma" and "ga ga" and more recently loud squawking. Still working on "da da."
Personality
His sense of humor is coming out. He likes to make us laugh with his funny faces and playing, "Nighttime, Daytime!" and "Where's the Baby?" He gives me hugs a lot, and sometimes open-mouthed kisses on the cheek. He's stingy with hugs when it comes to other people, though. I think the only other people he has shared them with are Ryan and Aunt Ruthie.
Feeding
The past two weeks I have relaxed a lot on what I give him to eat. I was following the 4 day rule: introduce a new food and wait 4 days before introducing another one in order to check for allergies. Thankfully, we haven't had any allergic reactions despite my sudden lack of carefulness. I am still not giving him any nuts, honey, and we're avoiding eggs, although he does get it in breads and probably other things I don't think about. I'll ban those until he's a year old. Anyway, so he's pretty much eating miniature versions of what we're eating. I'm trying to give him lots of practice with self-feeding. It's kinda tough though because of the mess (c: Oh well.
I am still nursing him 4-5 times a day. He's become very difficult to nurse and doesn't seem interested most of the time. It started out as him stopping to give me a hug or smile at me. Then it went to stopping to make a funny face or trying to get into a crawling position while still nursing. At the back of my mind I wondered if I should discourage these interruptions, but we were both enjoying them and laughing so much that it became one of our favorite parts of the day. I asked other moms what they thought and nobody seemed to think I should stop him, so I let it go on. Now, he's wanting to switch so frequently or crawl off and play, then get upset when I assume he's done, that it's become a hassle. I've started to think that maybe he's not getting enough. I would be more worried, but I was planning on weaning him at 1 year. I know they don't often wean themselves before 1 year, but it wouldn't be hard to head that direction if I wanted to. We'll keep trying for 3 more months though. Any thoughts on this?
Acid Reflux and Chiropractic Treatment
I'm so happy to report that his reflux has not made a comeback at all. There were a couple of days in which he was extra fussy and spitty. I still don't know what that was about - could have been a relapse. I was very grumpy and got depressed during that time, not knowing what to do next if the reflux was back. Thankfully it only lasted a couple of days. Maybe it was something he ate, maybe he was overtired, maybe we'll just blame it on the mysterious "catch all" - teething. He had more vertebral sublaxation than normal at his previous visit 10 days ago, but he had fewer at his appointment this morning. Dr. Adams said it was probably due to his pulling up and plopping on his bottom that was throwing his spine out of whack more than normal. Anyway, it was a good report today, and I have a happy baby to go along with it so... yay! We go again in 2 weeks.
SLEEP!
And now, my update on his sleep. I save the best for last (c: It has taken a long time for us to get over the overtired hump. It's a crazy uphill battle, but we're there, finally. More often than not, Declan takes two 1 - 1.5 hour naps a day, and he's now sleeping 12-13 hours a night. Last night he went to bed at 6:30pm, woke up around 5am to eat, and went back to bed until I woke him at 7:45 (not sure how much longer he would have slept). I am pretty sure that's a new record for him.
After all of the frustration and going back and forth, what ended up being the best things for us was:
Teeth Update
He has had 2 bottom teeth for a while now (I may have already blogged about that?) and he's just started working on his two uppers. The gums have been swollen for a day or two and I just noticed before I put him down for his nap how red one of them is. He is still all smiles though. Teething has never been hard for him. I blamed a lot of his extra fussy times on teething and we often gave him Tylenol when he probably didn't need it. "Teething" has never disrupted his sleep, thank God. I like to think that it's because he's rested and we've trained him well how to sleep. I'll get to that later though... you know I will.
Talking
He vocalizes a lot, saying "ma ma ma ma" and "ga ga" and more recently loud squawking. Still working on "da da."
Personality
His sense of humor is coming out. He likes to make us laugh with his funny faces and playing, "Nighttime, Daytime!" and "Where's the Baby?" He gives me hugs a lot, and sometimes open-mouthed kisses on the cheek. He's stingy with hugs when it comes to other people, though. I think the only other people he has shared them with are Ryan and Aunt Ruthie.
Feeding
The past two weeks I have relaxed a lot on what I give him to eat. I was following the 4 day rule: introduce a new food and wait 4 days before introducing another one in order to check for allergies. Thankfully, we haven't had any allergic reactions despite my sudden lack of carefulness. I am still not giving him any nuts, honey, and we're avoiding eggs, although he does get it in breads and probably other things I don't think about. I'll ban those until he's a year old. Anyway, so he's pretty much eating miniature versions of what we're eating. I'm trying to give him lots of practice with self-feeding. It's kinda tough though because of the mess (c: Oh well.
I am still nursing him 4-5 times a day. He's become very difficult to nurse and doesn't seem interested most of the time. It started out as him stopping to give me a hug or smile at me. Then it went to stopping to make a funny face or trying to get into a crawling position while still nursing. At the back of my mind I wondered if I should discourage these interruptions, but we were both enjoying them and laughing so much that it became one of our favorite parts of the day. I asked other moms what they thought and nobody seemed to think I should stop him, so I let it go on. Now, he's wanting to switch so frequently or crawl off and play, then get upset when I assume he's done, that it's become a hassle. I've started to think that maybe he's not getting enough. I would be more worried, but I was planning on weaning him at 1 year. I know they don't often wean themselves before 1 year, but it wouldn't be hard to head that direction if I wanted to. We'll keep trying for 3 more months though. Any thoughts on this?
Acid Reflux and Chiropractic Treatment
I'm so happy to report that his reflux has not made a comeback at all. There were a couple of days in which he was extra fussy and spitty. I still don't know what that was about - could have been a relapse. I was very grumpy and got depressed during that time, not knowing what to do next if the reflux was back. Thankfully it only lasted a couple of days. Maybe it was something he ate, maybe he was overtired, maybe we'll just blame it on the mysterious "catch all" - teething. He had more vertebral sublaxation than normal at his previous visit 10 days ago, but he had fewer at his appointment this morning. Dr. Adams said it was probably due to his pulling up and plopping on his bottom that was throwing his spine out of whack more than normal. Anyway, it was a good report today, and I have a happy baby to go along with it so... yay! We go again in 2 weeks.
SLEEP!
And now, my update on his sleep. I save the best for last (c: It has taken a long time for us to get over the overtired hump. It's a crazy uphill battle, but we're there, finally. More often than not, Declan takes two 1 - 1.5 hour naps a day, and he's now sleeping 12-13 hours a night. Last night he went to bed at 6:30pm, woke up around 5am to eat, and went back to bed until I woke him at 7:45 (not sure how much longer he would have slept). I am pretty sure that's a new record for him.
After all of the frustration and going back and forth, what ended up being the best things for us was:
- The Nap Hour - leaving him to sleep, cry, or play for an hour at naptime no matter what - no exceptions. Naptime is at 9am and 1pm (biological sleep windows for most babies age 4-8 months).
- Inadvertently teaching him to self-soothe. I was still rocking him to sleep a couple of weeks ago when he started to squirm and fuss in my arms every time I started rocking. This got frustrating for me so I just started to put him in his crib when this happened. To my surprise, he'd go to sleep minutes after I left the room. So I started to skip the rocking and just put him in his bed. He usually cries for a few minutes and goes to sleep. I saw an improvement in both the length of his naps and his nighttime sleep once I did this.
- Choosing an appropriately early bedtime - His sweet spot is between 6:15 and 6:30. It's not too early or too late. The night goes smoothly and I usually have to wake him the following morning to maintain our schedule.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Is Your Baby Overtired?
 |
| "I don't let my child's naps hinder me from doing my grocery shopping!" |
The problem with this is the quality of sleep. In a nutshell, sleep is a complicated state that occurs best when it's the right time. Fluctuating hormones cause us all to enter sleep states and wake states throughout a 24 hour period (see the Napping Window). It is possible to put a child to sleep during a wake state (although it will probably take a long time!) but because of the increased cortisol hormone, the sleep will not be as deep and the sleep period will probably be short.
All of that to say that, after 4 months of age, a routine helps to train a child's body when it's time to sleep.
Just as important as the timing is the place. Although she looks completely zonked, a soft blanket and a shopping cart are no substitute for her bed. You're familiar with sleep cycles, right? Fall asleep, get deeper into sleep, cycle up to a lighter sleep state, and then without waking, go back into a deeper sleep. Many cycles per night. The reason that still, quiet sleep is the most restorative is because the motion and the noise hinder getting into that deep sleep state. Her mind is not able to rest.
I don't want to make anyone mad, but I do think that parents are sadly unaware of some facts about their child's sleep. First of all, some things I've heard parents say.
• My child just isn't the type to conform to a sleep routine.
• My child doesn't need as much sleep as other children.
• Our family is on the go. It's best if our child just gets used to it now!
If you've found yourself thinking or saying something like this before, please consider some of these symptoms of over tiredness in babies and young children.
• Waking grumpy vs. happy
• Unable to play happily by themselves during their wake time
 |
| He crashed. Kinda funny, but really just kinda sad. |
• Yawning or rubbing eyes a lot
• Fidgety or spazzy
• Easily startled
• Irregular sleep patterns
• Fights naps and/or bedtime
• Random unexplained night wakings
• Complains of headache or stomach ache
• Seemingly not tired when you know they should be
• Waking within minutes after being put down for a nap
• Crashing randomly
Imagine what it feels like when you haven't gotten enough sleep. Miserable, right? What's work like the day after you haven't gotten enough sleep? I'll skip to the chase because I think you get my drift. A bad attitude and a hard-to-pin-down schedule today are the least of your concerns when your child is sleep deprived. Weissbluth writes, "Small but constant deficits in sleep over time tend to have escalating and perhaps long-term effects on brain function." Not to mention the affect sleep has on health. Some long-term affects of a child who does not get healthy sleep can be decreased mental focus, insomnia, ADD and ADHD. People take medicine and suffer from these ailments that might have never occurred had they been getting enough sleep.
Eliminating a child's sleep deficit is not easy, but anything you can do to help your child get more sleep (the right kind of sleep... still, quiet, consolidated, and regular) will benefit their health and development. If you want to get started, you know the book I'll recommend. I love to talk about this stuff (can you tell?) so please let me know if I can be of any support.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
STTN: The Loaded Question
"How is your little one sleeping?"
Is it just me, or when this question is asked amongst new moms it's almost like a test. Sleeping through the night (STTN). It's like the ultimate trophy for new moms. If you've got it, you must be some kind of awesome (in other words, some kind of heartless woman who can let their baby cry it out -- aka I'm jealous of you now). If you don't, you must be exhausted, you poor thing!
I avoid asking the question because I am afraid of my tendency to spew advice before it is asked for. I'm in an awkward place where I don't have credentials or experience -- let alone a perfectly sleeping baby -- to give me any right to go telling other moms what they could be doing better. I just have a passion, an awesome book, some reading I've done on the Internet, and a bunch of experiments I've run on my own kid.
Anyway, that's my disclaimer, and this is just my opinion. I think it's awesome if your baby sleeps through the night. I wouldn't mind it if Declan decided to start doing it tonight. He used to for 11 blessed weeks. I took them for granted... but that's beside the point. I was very thankful to learn from Weissbluth that it's perfectly healthy and normal for babies 6 weeks - 9 months to have 1 or 2 night feedings. What a load off! That made me kinda realize that there is a lot of pressure from the American culture to get your baby sleeping through the night as soon as possible. It's a big challenge. Sure, I'd prefer that he slept 10-12 hours straight instead of waking up about 7hrs in to eat, but knowing that he's not "behind" really makes it not so bad. At least for me.
Hoping it takes the pressure off of you. If your baby is waking once or twice to eat and going right back to sleep, you've got it good. Realize that the pressure you might feel is coming from our demanding, competitive culture, don't let it bother you if your baby isn't sleeping through the night. Just my two cents (c:
******Update********
When Declan was about 9 months and 1 week old, I used extinction to eliminate the night feeding. It took about 4 nights of consistently not going to him, or having Ryan go in to check on him if he was really worked up), and he then started sleeping 11-13 hours straight through pretty consistently. Every so often he'll fuss in the night - sometimes all-out cry. This is usually because he is overtired from a couple of non-routine days. Other times I have no idea why he does it. Usually if I wait 10 minutes before going to him, he goes back to sleep for the rest of the night.
Is it just me, or when this question is asked amongst new moms it's almost like a test. Sleeping through the night (STTN). It's like the ultimate trophy for new moms. If you've got it, you must be some kind of awesome (in other words, some kind of heartless woman who can let their baby cry it out -- aka I'm jealous of you now). If you don't, you must be exhausted, you poor thing!
I avoid asking the question because I am afraid of my tendency to spew advice before it is asked for. I'm in an awkward place where I don't have credentials or experience -- let alone a perfectly sleeping baby -- to give me any right to go telling other moms what they could be doing better. I just have a passion, an awesome book, some reading I've done on the Internet, and a bunch of experiments I've run on my own kid.
Anyway, that's my disclaimer, and this is just my opinion. I think it's awesome if your baby sleeps through the night. I wouldn't mind it if Declan decided to start doing it tonight. He used to for 11 blessed weeks. I took them for granted... but that's beside the point. I was very thankful to learn from Weissbluth that it's perfectly healthy and normal for babies 6 weeks - 9 months to have 1 or 2 night feedings. What a load off! That made me kinda realize that there is a lot of pressure from the American culture to get your baby sleeping through the night as soon as possible. It's a big challenge. Sure, I'd prefer that he slept 10-12 hours straight instead of waking up about 7hrs in to eat, but knowing that he's not "behind" really makes it not so bad. At least for me.
Hoping it takes the pressure off of you. If your baby is waking once or twice to eat and going right back to sleep, you've got it good. Realize that the pressure you might feel is coming from our demanding, competitive culture, don't let it bother you if your baby isn't sleeping through the night. Just my two cents (c:
******Update********
When Declan was about 9 months and 1 week old, I used extinction to eliminate the night feeding. It took about 4 nights of consistently not going to him, or having Ryan go in to check on him if he was really worked up), and he then started sleeping 11-13 hours straight through pretty consistently. Every so often he'll fuss in the night - sometimes all-out cry. This is usually because he is overtired from a couple of non-routine days. Other times I have no idea why he does it. Usually if I wait 10 minutes before going to him, he goes back to sleep for the rest of the night.
Friday, January 20, 2012
The Napping Window
This info is for a baby 4-8 months old.
If your baby isn't sleeping as well or as much as you think he or she should, then you're probably always searching for something else to try. You're clinging to hope that maybe this is the key. If you're like me, you optimistically go ahead and make yourself a to-do list for next week because you just know you're going to have all of this free time to kill while your baby sleeps.
In case you don't know, my Declan (7 months old)is was a serial cat napper. He would take four to five 30-45 minute naps a day. Not only was this frustrating because I'm supposed to be working from home, but I knew deep down that it wasn't healthy. I know that consolidated sleep is best (did you know that?) and that 30 minutes is like 1 sleep cycle... no bueno.
The past couple of days I learned some more. Short naps can be an indicator of over tiredness. How did I miss that one? I guess I didn't think that falling short of the recommended 14 hours minimum of sleep for his age by just an hour (he was getting about 13 hours in a 24 hour period... on good days) would still have him being so overtired that it would affect him this way. But I'm here to say that almost enough sleep is not good enough! The deficit, no matter how tiny you may think it is, can still cause sleep problems (like short naps, or night wakings... check, check).
So now I have something for you to try! (Get your to-do lists ready (c;)
If your routine is loose, like, your baby is napping at different times every day (outside of a 30 minute flex range), then you may feel like you don't have a good idea of when your baby naturally grows tired. Or maybe you feel like you do. Either way, consider this: very common nap windows occur at 9am and 1pm. If your baby sleeps past 7-7:30am-ish, you might want to consider waking him or her at 7 each day in order to maintain a routine. I know, I know, it hurts if you are accustomed to sleeping in. But if your little one is having sleep problems, think of it as part of the solution. Feed, play with, change your baby, etc. But at about 8:45am, start soothing your baby down for the first nap. Your baby probably won't seem tired at this time, but understand that you are trying to catch them before they get too tired. When a baby gets too far into the "tired zone," their bodies release hormones to keep them awake. That's why they fight sleep if they're overtired. "It's not logical, it's biological." Whenever Declan fights his naps, I know it's because I waited too long to put him down. So, the goal is to get them to sleep as close to 9am as possible.
Over a couple of days of trying this, you may find that your baby needs to take his/her naps earlier or (be careful with this one) later. 9am and 1pm are common nap windows, but it's up to you to tell if that needs some tailoring. For Declan, 9am and 1pm happen to work great, although he has been fighting his 1pm nap for the past 2 days, I might try to put him down at 12:45 (start soothing at 12:35) today.
Focusing on these nap windows has Declan taking 1hr 15min (sometimes longer) naps at 9am and 1pm. I also give him another nap at 4:30pm which is ideally an hour, but it is preferable that the baby has an early bedtime rather than a 3rd nap. We have found, at least for now, that Dec won't go down for the night unless he goes to sleep at 8pm, not a minute earlier. I suspect that he's too overtired to calm down by then, so my plan is to get him rested up through our new improved nap routine and then try an earlier bedtime in a week or two.
As always with baby sleep, when you're trying something new give it 4 days. After trying it consistently for 4 days, you'll know if it's working or not. Don't be surprised (but you're welcome to be impressed) if better naps help nighttime sleep, too!
If your baby isn't sleeping as well or as much as you think he or she should, then you're probably always searching for something else to try. You're clinging to hope that maybe this is the key. If you're like me, you optimistically go ahead and make yourself a to-do list for next week because you just know you're going to have all of this free time to kill while your baby sleeps.
In case you don't know, my Declan (7 months old)
The past couple of days I learned some more. Short naps can be an indicator of over tiredness. How did I miss that one? I guess I didn't think that falling short of the recommended 14 hours minimum of sleep for his age by just an hour (he was getting about 13 hours in a 24 hour period... on good days) would still have him being so overtired that it would affect him this way. But I'm here to say that almost enough sleep is not good enough! The deficit, no matter how tiny you may think it is, can still cause sleep problems (like short naps, or night wakings... check, check).
So now I have something for you to try! (Get your to-do lists ready (c;)
If your routine is loose, like, your baby is napping at different times every day (outside of a 30 minute flex range), then you may feel like you don't have a good idea of when your baby naturally grows tired. Or maybe you feel like you do. Either way, consider this: very common nap windows occur at 9am and 1pm. If your baby sleeps past 7-7:30am-ish, you might want to consider waking him or her at 7 each day in order to maintain a routine. I know, I know, it hurts if you are accustomed to sleeping in. But if your little one is having sleep problems, think of it as part of the solution. Feed, play with, change your baby, etc. But at about 8:45am, start soothing your baby down for the first nap. Your baby probably won't seem tired at this time, but understand that you are trying to catch them before they get too tired. When a baby gets too far into the "tired zone," their bodies release hormones to keep them awake. That's why they fight sleep if they're overtired. "It's not logical, it's biological." Whenever Declan fights his naps, I know it's because I waited too long to put him down. So, the goal is to get them to sleep as close to 9am as possible.
Over a couple of days of trying this, you may find that your baby needs to take his/her naps earlier or (be careful with this one) later. 9am and 1pm are common nap windows, but it's up to you to tell if that needs some tailoring. For Declan, 9am and 1pm happen to work great, although he has been fighting his 1pm nap for the past 2 days, I might try to put him down at 12:45 (start soothing at 12:35) today.
Focusing on these nap windows has Declan taking 1hr 15min (sometimes longer) naps at 9am and 1pm. I also give him another nap at 4:30pm which is ideally an hour, but it is preferable that the baby has an early bedtime rather than a 3rd nap. We have found, at least for now, that Dec won't go down for the night unless he goes to sleep at 8pm, not a minute earlier. I suspect that he's too overtired to calm down by then, so my plan is to get him rested up through our new improved nap routine and then try an earlier bedtime in a week or two.
As always with baby sleep, when you're trying something new give it 4 days. After trying it consistently for 4 days, you'll know if it's working or not. Don't be surprised (but you're welcome to be impressed) if better naps help nighttime sleep, too!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Giving Him the First Year, My Practice of Mothering
Sarah at Emerging Mummy asked her readers to share their practices of mothering. She has a really awesome series on her own practices. I loved the idea, but I didn't think I would submit anything myself. It came to me today. Ryan, my husband, was reminding me of a principle my great-grandmother talked to him about over Christmas: give them the first year. My great-grandmother (My 7 1/2 month old son Declan's great-great at 89 years old!) was a little bit of an entrepreneur. She had consignment shops, a house cleaning service, and she was involved at church over the years. When she was a young mother, though, she put these things on hold to focus on her babies.
I think about this principle whenever I feel outside pressure to compromise Declan's schedule. For our family, giving him the first year translates to staying home a lot. Babies need more sleep than most people (Americans?) think. His feeding, nap, and bedtime routines are very important to me in order to maintain his comfort and sense of security. I want to rock him in his nursery and for him to be able to sleep in his own bed, still and quiet and clean in a fresh diaper with his blanket and his white noise; I want him to know where he is when he wakes; I want him to know that I'll come to him with big smiles when he finishes a good nap. These things are his to rely on and he can feel that all is safe and normal.
There are things that Ryan and I miss out on because of our dedication (some may call it obsession) to our son's routine. We do make allowances for specific occasions and on Sundays for church (our service meets in the evening). Although it would be nice to have more flexibility to run errands, have dinner parties with friends, or do other evening church functions, we believe we are doing something more important. I don't know many other people with young babies that give up their pre-baby lifestyle. I understand that decision and sadly I think it's a strong aspect of Western culture, but I can't honestly say I support it (even though it's none of my business). My husband and I believe that through this temporary sacrifice (which, let's face it, is just the beginning -- you're a parent by the way!), he will grow into a healthier, happier, smarter, and self-controlled child.
7 Months Old: All But Crawl
We're 7 months into this deal. In case you haven't noticed, I've been making an effort to note the developmental advances he's made and record some of the things I want to remember about him at each monthly milestone. It's already fun and eye-opening to look back at how he has changed. I don't have a real baby book, so I'm sure one day I'll find some way to preserve these entries.
At 7 months old, he's not quite crawling. Since the week before Christmas he has been experimenting with getting up on his knees and rocking back and forth. More recently he spends most of his tummy time like this, whereas before it was pretty infrequent. As of last Friday, I saw him go from this position to sitting. I wasn't expecting this to happen before crawling, but I'm so glad because most of the time he prefers to sit instead of be on his tummy. So now he has the ability to do it without my help (c:
In addition to that skill, he's shown a lot of interest in pulling up. He tries to pull up on our dining room chairs, the couch, his crib, dresser, or changing table, and of course reaches for our kneecaps when we get close enough. He's gaining strength and confidence to make his limbs do what he wants them to.
Vocally, he's still a chatterbox when he gets going. He likes to repeat, "RaRaRaRaRa" among other things. He has taken to squealing/screaming/screeching/chirping really loud. So loud and repeatedly I sometimes want to apologize to our downstairs neighbors who have two babies. Usually the outbursts are with joy, but he sometimes uses them to express frustration. Like if he's sitting in his high chair while I get his food ready and he's getting impatient. One of the funniest things he does is clench his gums, open his eyes really wide and raise his eyebrows, and hold his breath while he turns red and clenches his fists. I have no idea what this is about... I think he just likes the look of bewilderment on my face when he does it.
Over Christmas I transitioned him back to 2 solids feedings a day. I know that what time of day he eats what doesn't matter to him, but I like giving him fruit and cereal in the morning and veggies in the evening (c: The fruits he has tried are just bananas and plain applesauce. He usually eats those with blended up oatmeal. It has taken longer than I thought it would, but he has come to love these. The veggies he has tried are carrots, green peas, green beans, acorn squash, broccoli, spinach, and most recently, avocado. I have some yellow squash in the fridge that he'll try next. When he tries something new, it's always with a grimace and a gag, at least on the first few bites. The only exception has been spinach. Surprisingly, he took to that like it was his everyday favorite from the first bite. He'll eat it cold, too (ew!).
This month I have finally managed to make myself stick to a schedule (mostly, anyway) when it comes to his sleep. I would have thought, knowing myself and how I like to make lists and schedules, that this would have happened on its own long ago. The problem is that even if things are going good, I have to wonder if a change would make it even better, so I change it up. And we get thrown off. So the past few weeks this is the schedule I've been keeping.
6:30-7am - His wakeup. If he wakes up earlier he has to stay in bed til then. If he is still asleep past 7:15 or so I wake him up. The vast majority of mornings he wakes around 7am though. I give him his medicine first thing.
8:00am - Nurse
8:30am - Fruit and Cereal
9:00am - Nap#1. Finally these are stretching out to be an hour or more.
11:30am - Nurse
1pm - Nap#2. Ideally, an hour or more. Unfortunately though this one is still often short (30min). I have been letting him cry for up to an hour. Once he went back to sleep for another 45 min. It's really frustrating when this one is short because a third nap comes at a really awkward time and can interfere with his bedtime.
3:00pm - Nurse
4pm - Variable Nap#3
6:00pm - Medicine
6:30pm - Nurse
7:00pm - Veggies
7:15pm - Bath
7:45pm - Nurse
8:00pm - Bedtime
Then he'll usually wake up around 2 or 3am for another feeding.
There are still improvements to be made. His naps are still too short, and his bedtime is still too late. This isn't just my opinion - short naps are indicative of over tiredness. His bedtime was earlier - we tried for over 2 weeks to get him to go to bed at 7. The problem was not getting him to sleep, it was getting him to stay asleep. But I know that those wakeups that came after the earlier bedtime are also an indication of not getting enough sleep. I know it sounds crazy. But babies his age need at least 14 hours of sleep, and he's only getting about 13 on good days. It doesn't sound like a big gap, but that hour or more that he doesn't get every day is what is causing the problems that we're having. Most people don't realize how much sleep babies actually need.
I found a Godsend, Weissbluth has a blog. While he can't answer all of the questions himself, there are a lot of moms on there who are extremely helpful.
Babies Declan's age who are successfully on the Weissbluth method go to bed before 6pm, have 1 or 2 wake ups for night feedings, sleep until 6-7am, and take 2-3 solid (1-2hr) naps per day. The bedtime is early, and yes, it does limit what we can do in the evenings a lot. Our church meets at night. We had determined a long time ago that Sunday nights would be an exception, a night where he could stay up later. But now I'm wanting to get back into doing the Women's Bible Study on Wednesday nights, as well as Zumba on Thursday nights. So it is a conflict.
I am having to remember a few principles. One is that it is important to protect the sleep schedule. Now that he's older, I don't have to be home all the time. The time between his 2nd nap (once he drops the 3rd nap) and bedtime will be a great time to get him out of the house, but we'll need to be back in time to get him in bed. The second principle is one that my Great Grandmother taught me - to give them the first year. As a mom, you really give them more than that, but it is helpful for staying strong and justifying your "strange behavior" to others when they don't understand why you don't want to go out after 6pm. I have been accused of "not living." That's not it at all. It's just that I am giving Declan the first year. I'm trying to set him up to be well-rested, comfortable, secure. I'm trying to give him good sleeping and eating habits that he will hopefully carry for the rest of his life.
Anyway, I have a small soapbox for this. Maybe I'll express myself fully in another entry. For now, my little boy is asleep and I should be too. Goodnight (c:
In addition to that skill, he's shown a lot of interest in pulling up. He tries to pull up on our dining room chairs, the couch, his crib, dresser, or changing table, and of course reaches for our kneecaps when we get close enough. He's gaining strength and confidence to make his limbs do what he wants them to.
Vocally, he's still a chatterbox when he gets going. He likes to repeat, "RaRaRaRaRa" among other things. He has taken to squealing/screaming/screeching/chirping really loud. So loud and repeatedly I sometimes want to apologize to our downstairs neighbors who have two babies. Usually the outbursts are with joy, but he sometimes uses them to express frustration. Like if he's sitting in his high chair while I get his food ready and he's getting impatient. One of the funniest things he does is clench his gums, open his eyes really wide and raise his eyebrows, and hold his breath while he turns red and clenches his fists. I have no idea what this is about... I think he just likes the look of bewilderment on my face when he does it.
Over Christmas I transitioned him back to 2 solids feedings a day. I know that what time of day he eats what doesn't matter to him, but I like giving him fruit and cereal in the morning and veggies in the evening (c: The fruits he has tried are just bananas and plain applesauce. He usually eats those with blended up oatmeal. It has taken longer than I thought it would, but he has come to love these. The veggies he has tried are carrots, green peas, green beans, acorn squash, broccoli, spinach, and most recently, avocado. I have some yellow squash in the fridge that he'll try next. When he tries something new, it's always with a grimace and a gag, at least on the first few bites. The only exception has been spinach. Surprisingly, he took to that like it was his everyday favorite from the first bite. He'll eat it cold, too (ew!).
This month I have finally managed to make myself stick to a schedule (mostly, anyway) when it comes to his sleep. I would have thought, knowing myself and how I like to make lists and schedules, that this would have happened on its own long ago. The problem is that even if things are going good, I have to wonder if a change would make it even better, so I change it up. And we get thrown off. So the past few weeks this is the schedule I've been keeping.
6:30-7am - His wakeup. If he wakes up earlier he has to stay in bed til then. If he is still asleep past 7:15 or so I wake him up. The vast majority of mornings he wakes around 7am though. I give him his medicine first thing.
8:00am - Nurse
8:30am - Fruit and Cereal
9:00am - Nap#1. Finally these are stretching out to be an hour or more.
11:30am - Nurse
1pm - Nap#2. Ideally, an hour or more. Unfortunately though this one is still often short (30min). I have been letting him cry for up to an hour. Once he went back to sleep for another 45 min. It's really frustrating when this one is short because a third nap comes at a really awkward time and can interfere with his bedtime.
3:00pm - Nurse
4pm - Variable Nap#3
6:00pm - Medicine
6:30pm - Nurse
7:00pm - Veggies
7:15pm - Bath
7:45pm - Nurse
8:00pm - Bedtime
Then he'll usually wake up around 2 or 3am for another feeding.
There are still improvements to be made. His naps are still too short, and his bedtime is still too late. This isn't just my opinion - short naps are indicative of over tiredness. His bedtime was earlier - we tried for over 2 weeks to get him to go to bed at 7. The problem was not getting him to sleep, it was getting him to stay asleep. But I know that those wakeups that came after the earlier bedtime are also an indication of not getting enough sleep. I know it sounds crazy. But babies his age need at least 14 hours of sleep, and he's only getting about 13 on good days. It doesn't sound like a big gap, but that hour or more that he doesn't get every day is what is causing the problems that we're having. Most people don't realize how much sleep babies actually need.
I found a Godsend, Weissbluth has a blog. While he can't answer all of the questions himself, there are a lot of moms on there who are extremely helpful.
Babies Declan's age who are successfully on the Weissbluth method go to bed before 6pm, have 1 or 2 wake ups for night feedings, sleep until 6-7am, and take 2-3 solid (1-2hr) naps per day. The bedtime is early, and yes, it does limit what we can do in the evenings a lot. Our church meets at night. We had determined a long time ago that Sunday nights would be an exception, a night where he could stay up later. But now I'm wanting to get back into doing the Women's Bible Study on Wednesday nights, as well as Zumba on Thursday nights. So it is a conflict.
I am having to remember a few principles. One is that it is important to protect the sleep schedule. Now that he's older, I don't have to be home all the time. The time between his 2nd nap (once he drops the 3rd nap) and bedtime will be a great time to get him out of the house, but we'll need to be back in time to get him in bed. The second principle is one that my Great Grandmother taught me - to give them the first year. As a mom, you really give them more than that, but it is helpful for staying strong and justifying your "strange behavior" to others when they don't understand why you don't want to go out after 6pm. I have been accused of "not living." That's not it at all. It's just that I am giving Declan the first year. I'm trying to set him up to be well-rested, comfortable, secure. I'm trying to give him good sleeping and eating habits that he will hopefully carry for the rest of his life.
Anyway, I have a small soapbox for this. Maybe I'll express myself fully in another entry. For now, my little boy is asleep and I should be too. Goodnight (c:
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
OMG, we have a REAL baby!
I don't know if this happens to all new moms, but lately the fact that we have a real live baby, and yes we are really living this life, hits me like cold water to the face. He does all of these famous baby things, like sitting up, shaking rattles, smiling and babbling, grabbing my face, hugging/kissing, etc. He's starting to show preferences and opinion. Sometimes he doesn't want to play in his jumper, he'd rather roll around on the floor. And sometimes he wants be held and bounced. Sometimes he is thrilled to be kissed on, and other times he just wants that object 6 inches out of reach and could care less about me.
All of these things make him more and more of a real person to me. Our relationship is awakening by leaps and bounds this month. As Gail put it, my heart is "tied to his." I miss him when he goes down for the night and it will be hours before I see him again (I don't miss him much during his 30 minute daytime naps...). I love seeing him hold a toy close to his face, analyzing and calculating. Then just a second later, wave his arms wildly and suddenly topple sideways.
Despite the many times he's given me hope of his naps lengthening, he still takes only 30 minute naps for the most part. He usually wakes up smiling, so I am assuming he's getting enough rest. So it may be til he's 12-18 months til he starts taking long ones. I'm finally beginning to accept it and realize that the occasional 2 hour nap does not indicate the breaking of a new normal. Sheesh.
Nighttime sleep is mostly good. We have improvements to make, and we've started using that darned ol' sleep training to get there. After cereal, a bath, and one last feeding, he is either zonked and I can put him in his crib immediately or I rock him for a few minutes first. We shoot for between 7:00 and 7:30 bedtime. He goes down really easy, and life would be a dream, but 45 minutes later he winds up. Ryan would go in there and burp him and calm him down for a second, and then we'd let him cry himself back to sleep. It is tortuous. The first night was an hour and a half, with Ryan going in there periodically to turn him over, rewrap him, and give him back his pacifier. The second night we were encouraged when he cried only 45 minutes. The third night, he cried for 6 minutes. Fourth night, for 2 minutes. We thought we were home free on the 5th night, but he cried for an hour and a half again. We realized I had forgotten to give him his acid reflux medicine, so we got him up and let him stay up so we could wait the allotted amount of time and then feed him one more time and put him back to sleep. That was last week.
This week I'm working on being ALOT more consistent. I'm taking Weissbluth's advice finally (he has always been right for us, I don't know why I try to experiment a bunch before realizing this again and again). After 4 months, babies can start adjusting their sleep rhythms to a clock schedule (before 4 months, its best just to watch and respond to their drowsy signals--but have a set bedtime always!) The past 3 days, Declan wakes between 6:15 and 7:30 (I'm bad, I should be waking him up at 7!), he takes his first nap at 9-9:30am, then 11-11:30am, 1:30-2:00pm, then 4-4:30pm. And of course bedtime is 7-7:30. Sometimes I'm tempted to put him down early if he's being a grump, or keep him up if he seems more wakeful, but I am curious to see how a fairly rigid schedule works for him since we've never tried it very consistently so I'm standing firm! Hopefully between that and the sleep training, he'll stay down after bedtime until his feeding around 2:30am. And okay, a small part of me still hopes his naps will suddenly grow longer with routine...
I've changed up his feeding routine, too. I was totally over-zealous with the solid foods thing. He keeps them down so well and enjoys the cereal so much (plus the whole novelty of it) that I jumped ahead and gave him 2 feedings a day as cereal when you're supposed to start out with one. I justified it because we started solids kinda late -- at almost 5 months. I didn't really tie it together because it was gradual - his feedings grew shorter and fussier, but oddly, he wanted to eat more often (I still don't really understand that). So last week I stopped giving him his mid-morning cereal and just kept the evening feeding. Within a day, his nursing sessions were more prolonged and relaxed. His "I'm hungry" and "I'm full" signals are not ambiguous anymore since instead of fussing 30 seconds into the feeding, he will nurse good and then stop, smile, and if I offer him more he will either do so or push away. So I'm super happy with that.
He's still dealing with the reflux. Last week I reached 4 weeks of dairy elimination and took him off of the Prevacid to see if things had improved. After being off of the medicine for a day, the symptoms came rushing back and it was clear that dairy was not the culprit. I am changing pediatricians, so maybe we'll get some fresh ideas and a GI specialist referral. Our other pediatrician is an excellent and qualified doctor, it's just that he makes me feel stupid. He's kinda snippy. When I felt the Zantac was not working for us, I asked him about what I should do. He just said, "Take him off of it." And I was like... well, what about the reflux? I felt like I was having to drag information out of him. Anyway, I've always kind of thought that, and that last experience was just enough to make me think we might do better with another doctor.
Doing better all the time, for the most part. Gotta go make some supper. Another day gone, but it was a productive one (c:
All of these things make him more and more of a real person to me. Our relationship is awakening by leaps and bounds this month. As Gail put it, my heart is "tied to his." I miss him when he goes down for the night and it will be hours before I see him again (I don't miss him much during his 30 minute daytime naps...). I love seeing him hold a toy close to his face, analyzing and calculating. Then just a second later, wave his arms wildly and suddenly topple sideways.
Despite the many times he's given me hope of his naps lengthening, he still takes only 30 minute naps for the most part. He usually wakes up smiling, so I am assuming he's getting enough rest. So it may be til he's 12-18 months til he starts taking long ones. I'm finally beginning to accept it and realize that the occasional 2 hour nap does not indicate the breaking of a new normal. Sheesh.
Nighttime sleep is mostly good. We have improvements to make, and we've started using that darned ol' sleep training to get there. After cereal, a bath, and one last feeding, he is either zonked and I can put him in his crib immediately or I rock him for a few minutes first. We shoot for between 7:00 and 7:30 bedtime. He goes down really easy, and life would be a dream, but 45 minutes later he winds up. Ryan would go in there and burp him and calm him down for a second, and then we'd let him cry himself back to sleep. It is tortuous. The first night was an hour and a half, with Ryan going in there periodically to turn him over, rewrap him, and give him back his pacifier. The second night we were encouraged when he cried only 45 minutes. The third night, he cried for 6 minutes. Fourth night, for 2 minutes. We thought we were home free on the 5th night, but he cried for an hour and a half again. We realized I had forgotten to give him his acid reflux medicine, so we got him up and let him stay up so we could wait the allotted amount of time and then feed him one more time and put him back to sleep. That was last week.
This week I'm working on being ALOT more consistent. I'm taking Weissbluth's advice finally (he has always been right for us, I don't know why I try to experiment a bunch before realizing this again and again). After 4 months, babies can start adjusting their sleep rhythms to a clock schedule (before 4 months, its best just to watch and respond to their drowsy signals--but have a set bedtime always!) The past 3 days, Declan wakes between 6:15 and 7:30 (I'm bad, I should be waking him up at 7!), he takes his first nap at 9-9:30am, then 11-11:30am, 1:30-2:00pm, then 4-4:30pm. And of course bedtime is 7-7:30. Sometimes I'm tempted to put him down early if he's being a grump, or keep him up if he seems more wakeful, but I am curious to see how a fairly rigid schedule works for him since we've never tried it very consistently so I'm standing firm! Hopefully between that and the sleep training, he'll stay down after bedtime until his feeding around 2:30am. And okay, a small part of me still hopes his naps will suddenly grow longer with routine...
I've changed up his feeding routine, too. I was totally over-zealous with the solid foods thing. He keeps them down so well and enjoys the cereal so much (plus the whole novelty of it) that I jumped ahead and gave him 2 feedings a day as cereal when you're supposed to start out with one. I justified it because we started solids kinda late -- at almost 5 months. I didn't really tie it together because it was gradual - his feedings grew shorter and fussier, but oddly, he wanted to eat more often (I still don't really understand that). So last week I stopped giving him his mid-morning cereal and just kept the evening feeding. Within a day, his nursing sessions were more prolonged and relaxed. His "I'm hungry" and "I'm full" signals are not ambiguous anymore since instead of fussing 30 seconds into the feeding, he will nurse good and then stop, smile, and if I offer him more he will either do so or push away. So I'm super happy with that.
He's still dealing with the reflux. Last week I reached 4 weeks of dairy elimination and took him off of the Prevacid to see if things had improved. After being off of the medicine for a day, the symptoms came rushing back and it was clear that dairy was not the culprit. I am changing pediatricians, so maybe we'll get some fresh ideas and a GI specialist referral. Our other pediatrician is an excellent and qualified doctor, it's just that he makes me feel stupid. He's kinda snippy. When I felt the Zantac was not working for us, I asked him about what I should do. He just said, "Take him off of it." And I was like... well, what about the reflux? I felt like I was having to drag information out of him. Anyway, I've always kind of thought that, and that last experience was just enough to make me think we might do better with another doctor.
Doing better all the time, for the most part. Gotta go make some supper. Another day gone, but it was a productive one (c:
Monday, November 21, 2011
5 Months Old: Cereal, and of course Sleep
Declan turned 5 months old last Thursday. It's hard to believe he's already this close to 6 months! We started him on rice cereal on November 6, 10 days before he turned 5 months old. He loved it and he did so well!
In the past week, he's gotten better at rolling back to front. He seems to do well with both right and left rolling. He'll sometimes sit up on his own for several seconds, but he usually gets interested in his feet and leans so far forward that he topples over. So he's close, but not quite sitting up yet.
We've got two toys that he can bounce in. A saucer-thing, and a Johnny Jump Up. Once he started using these (the saucer at 4 months and the Johnny Jump Up at 4 months, 3 weeks), his core and leg strength developed rapidly. Within days, he went from being slumped over in the saucer seat to sitting up straight and bouncing vigorously. Jumping is such a favorite activity now that he squirms when you hold him until he's standing in your lap and he'll jump, jump, jump, jump....
His hair is thinning out a lot, but he's still got some patches of really long, dark hair, and it's curly! Under the dark hair, he's got some blond/light brown, thicker hair coming in. I noticed a little bit of cradle cap about a week ago. I put some tea tree oil on it, which I do not recommend. I do think it helped, but the smell was so potent that I think it bothered him and I couldn't get it out without washing his hair - even still it filled his nursery and may have given him a headache - it gave me one!
Vocally, he's a little chatter box. He'll babble, "Gah gah gah mmmmbah! Grrrrrr-aaaaaaaa-mmm Mam!" He's also taken to grabbing our mouths and faces (sometimes gently, sometimes notsomuch), and he'll pull our faces to him so he can plant his open-mouthed baby kisses on it. He's often very aggressive and serious about these kisses and they are accompanied by some growls or "mmm"s. And I love, love when he wraps both of his chubby little arms around my neck and squeezes. What an awesome kid!
We've introduced him to some loud noises lately. I make his rice and oatmeal cereals at home with our Ninja blender. I thought since I was going to be doing it every 3 days or so, he should be comfortable with the sound. It took some holding and reassuring words, but he is now adjusted to it and it doesn't phase him. Today I decided it was time that he got acquainted with the vacuum cleaner - especially with his growing independence and mobility - I will need to vacuum more often! By counting to 3 before turning it on each time, he grew comfortable with it within a few minutes. By the time I was vacuuming the 2nd room in our apartment, he was playing happily with his toys and ignoring the machine.
Mom says she thinks he's more into his toys than my siblings or I were. He does love them and will play with them for much of his wake time. Some of his favorites are a beanie giraffe that my boss' family gave him, a squishy red truck from work, toys attached to his saucer, a crinkly basketball, and a little music machine that my mom and sister brought him on their last visit.
This past weekend, we noticed him getting his knees under his body and scooting backwards. Maybe my mom's prediction is right - crawling by Christmas?
He's sleeping better, going to bed at 7:30pm, getting up between 3 and 4 to eat, then going back to sleep until about 7:30am. The past few mornings he's woken up with smiles and coos. His naps are getting longer, too.
In the past week, he's gotten better at rolling back to front. He seems to do well with both right and left rolling. He'll sometimes sit up on his own for several seconds, but he usually gets interested in his feet and leans so far forward that he topples over. So he's close, but not quite sitting up yet.
We've got two toys that he can bounce in. A saucer-thing, and a Johnny Jump Up. Once he started using these (the saucer at 4 months and the Johnny Jump Up at 4 months, 3 weeks), his core and leg strength developed rapidly. Within days, he went from being slumped over in the saucer seat to sitting up straight and bouncing vigorously. Jumping is such a favorite activity now that he squirms when you hold him until he's standing in your lap and he'll jump, jump, jump, jump....
 |
| Day 1 in the saucer - needed a blanket for core support. |
 |
| A month later - confident, strong, and loving it! |
His hair is thinning out a lot, but he's still got some patches of really long, dark hair, and it's curly! Under the dark hair, he's got some blond/light brown, thicker hair coming in. I noticed a little bit of cradle cap about a week ago. I put some tea tree oil on it, which I do not recommend. I do think it helped, but the smell was so potent that I think it bothered him and I couldn't get it out without washing his hair - even still it filled his nursery and may have given him a headache - it gave me one!
Vocally, he's a little chatter box. He'll babble, "Gah gah gah mmmmbah! Grrrrrr-aaaaaaaa-mmm Mam!" He's also taken to grabbing our mouths and faces (sometimes gently, sometimes notsomuch), and he'll pull our faces to him so he can plant his open-mouthed baby kisses on it. He's often very aggressive and serious about these kisses and they are accompanied by some growls or "mmm"s. And I love, love when he wraps both of his chubby little arms around my neck and squeezes. What an awesome kid!
We've introduced him to some loud noises lately. I make his rice and oatmeal cereals at home with our Ninja blender. I thought since I was going to be doing it every 3 days or so, he should be comfortable with the sound. It took some holding and reassuring words, but he is now adjusted to it and it doesn't phase him. Today I decided it was time that he got acquainted with the vacuum cleaner - especially with his growing independence and mobility - I will need to vacuum more often! By counting to 3 before turning it on each time, he grew comfortable with it within a few minutes. By the time I was vacuuming the 2nd room in our apartment, he was playing happily with his toys and ignoring the machine.
Mom says she thinks he's more into his toys than my siblings or I were. He does love them and will play with them for much of his wake time. Some of his favorites are a beanie giraffe that my boss' family gave him, a squishy red truck from work, toys attached to his saucer, a crinkly basketball, and a little music machine that my mom and sister brought him on their last visit.
This past weekend, we noticed him getting his knees under his body and scooting backwards. Maybe my mom's prediction is right - crawling by Christmas?
Monday, November 7, 2011
Crashing... Part II
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| A great book on the biology of baby sleep. |
I just want to share the "sleep gospel" - the more the child sleeps, the better quality of sleep he gets. It sounded too good to be true, but it does make sense.
One happy day when Declan was about 6 weeks old, we were at Goodwill in San Antonio and my mom found this book while we were actually looking for another book that had been recommended to me a lot, On Becoming Babywise. We couldn't find a copy of Babywise, but after thumbing through Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, I decided I would probably learn something worth $0.99 from it.
To be honest, initially I didn't like the book. It was difficult to read and follow. Admittedly, Weissbluth may not be the most talented writer, but I was intrigued with the actual hard facts he had from his years of research. He was talking about the biology of baby sleep. It was refreshing and comforting to know that most non-colicky babies are very similar in their needs for sleep and even the time of day and night that they most naturally grow drowsy. It was like he knew my kid! This information is invaluable! It's like gold! I started referencing the book for specific problems we were having and I've ended up going back and reading through Declan's age range. I still return to it if we have a specific problem pop up and it is always helpful.
My main issues at the time were Declan's daytime naps. I had no idea how much daytime sleep he needed. I just put him down when I thought he seemed tired. It was usually after I had nursed him and he fell asleep, because I really hadn't figured out the best way to soothe him yet. I'd put him down completely zonked and without fail he'd wake up 5 minutes later. I cringe when I think about how I got him up and just assumed he wasn't tired, or he had cat-napped long enough while eating that he was rested.
I was exhausted and stressed. I was trying to carry on a part-time job at home, take care of our apartment, and have supper ready when Ryan got home. I was so far away from that expectation I had for myself that I didn't see how anyone did it. Little did I know, Declan was tired, too. Over-exhausted, in fact. And that's why he wasn't sleeping.
The most revolutionary thing I learned was that infants his age should have a wake time of between 1 and 2 hours. Weissbluth said to be mindful of the clock, but mostly watch your baby closely. The first yawn or eye-rubbing, slow blink, or slow down in activity -- that was my cue. I picked him up from his play - because these cues often occurred while he was still very happily playing - changed his diaper, turned out the lights in his room, swaddled him, and started rocking and singing to him. Sometimes there was a little crying, but I was surprised at how easily he fell asleep. My confidence grew and I took it a step further and practiced putting him down drowsy. This helped him get familiar with falling asleep in his crib.
The next amazing thing that I learned was how to help him to sleep through the night. Now I have your attention, don't I? At around 6 weeks, most non-colicky babies are mature enough to sleep 8-10 hours, maybe even 12, with no night waking. We had been trying to start his bedtime routine at around 9. Thus began a wake-fest that lasted til 11pm on good nights and 2am on bad nights. We had been keeping him up - going to Walmart, out for walks -- whatever we could do to try and keep him awake in the early evening hours - and of course he wasn't napping well during the day, so he was hard to keep awake by that time of day. I remember one time sitting down in the nursery with him. I propped him on a pillow in my lap, turned to grab an exciting book to read to him in hopes of keeping him awake just a little bit longer, and when I turned back he was OUT.
When Weissbluth described what our evenings looked like, his book became a page-turner for me. He talked about babies crashing at around 11pm and 2am. Ours was a common problem! His suggestion was to move the bedtime earlier - to about 9. So we started the routine at 7:30. Leisurely bath, long nursing, then more rocking and singing til he fell asleep a little before 9.
The first night we tried this, my little boy slept for 10 hours. Asleep at 9pm, awake at 7am. No wakings. This continued virtually without flaw for 5 weeks, when unfortunately the acid reflux came and stole our nights back.
But apparently we might have run into more night wakings around that time anyway. Three to four month olds get a lot more social and distracted during the day. They don't eat enough because they're too busy looking around and talking at EVERYTHING, real or imaginary (yes, it's adorable). So they get hungrier at night. If this was the only thing we were dealing with, I would have done what Weissbluth suggested: roll with it. If you realize it's just a phase that will last a few weeks, it gets easier to get up once or twice a night to feed. Declan has done that the past week or two, and in comparison to the reflux waking him every 3 hours, it was great. Plus he has blessed me with the way he will lay quietly in his crib after these feedings - even if wide awake. He puts himself back to sleep, and I probably fall back to sleep before he does most nights (c:
Today we're in a pretty good place with sleep. Up until recently he has had only 30-45 minute naps. I felt like there was something wrong with that, but when I read more about 4-5 month olds I learned that their brain matures at this age and enables them to start napping longer. At almost 5 months old, Declan usually has two or three 1 1/2 hour naps a day. What a relief! He still has days where all his naps are short, but those are fading out.
His bedtime the past couple of nights has been 7:45. He always wakes up again between 8:15 or 8:30, but it's just to be burped one last time and rocked for a few minutes more. Then he's good to go until around 5am when I feed him again and he goes back to sleep with no soothing until 7:30 or 8. Weissbluth describes this as a healthy sleep pattern for this age, and says to expect it to last until around 9 months when he'll go back to sleeping through the night.
I should mention that Weissbluth does not recommend using the cry-it-out method until 4 months of age. That was one thing that kept me reading. This is sleep training without the heart break. In truth, we didn't even want to do the cry-it-out that he suggests at 4 months. We couldn't take it (we did try it a night or two). And Declan is still a good sleeper, so I am confident that you can do it without letting your baby cry it out, if that's what you want. I think the important things are having a solid foundation of a good sleep routine (we've had basically the same ritual since he was 6 weeks old), plus having an already well-rested child.
So, if you're feeling like you have to let your baby wail in the crib to learn how to sleep, don't. Don't think you have to do something that goes against your instincts and breaks your heart. I'm not against the crying method - it does work for so many, and I'm sure it would have worked for us - but it was way too painful to me!!
I hope you can have the same blessing of sleep that we have had.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Crashing... It's Not All It's Cracked Up To Be
I've got to be honest because for some reason this bothers me too much to keep quiet. Before I go tearing into the advice of other much more experienced moms and grandmas, I do recognize that I'm not any kind of expert on this subject. I have read and discussed it a lot and experimented with my own child to find what works for us, but that's it.
OK, here we go. I want to get on my soapbox every time I hear someone advise new parents to "keep a baby up" in order to get them to sleep at night. How many times have you heard that? And how many times have you then heard that person admit through humorous recollection how their baby DIDN'T sleep well?
I just want to ask the parents of babies to consider this idea: sleep begets sleep. Do you want your child to be rested, or do you want him/her to be "easy" to get to sleep? Because if you keep a baby up, you may find it is easier to get them to sleep because they are crashing. Americans know what crashing is, don't we? Many of us are crawling into bed wayyyy too late, swearing to go to bed earlier next time. We wake up with difficulty and function poorly in our tired state.
Imagine how your baby feels when you force him to crash every night for your own convenience? Because you don't want to take the time to soothe him when he is just beginning to get drowsy.
Imagine the toll this takes on his or her brain and learning capabilities. And they don't have coffee to help!
Consider how difficult it has been for you to get your baby to sleep even when you know he's overtired. I know I have wondered that many nights while rocking or trying to calm him down, "I know he's tired, why won't be sleep??" When babies become overtired, they get a second wind, just like we do. Fight or flight. They physically get a second release of hormones that make them return to a wakeful state. This is what happens if you keep a baby up past his natural time to fall asleep.
Do you ever find it hard to fall asleep even when you know you're overtired? Put yourself in your baby's socks!
Instead, if we as parents watch our babies and strive to find that time when they are becoming a little less wakeful, a little more tired, and start soothing them then - we help them fall asleep peacefully and get the rest their little brains need.
More on this, I need to put Declan down for a nap. Haha.
OK, here we go. I want to get on my soapbox every time I hear someone advise new parents to "keep a baby up" in order to get them to sleep at night. How many times have you heard that? And how many times have you then heard that person admit through humorous recollection how their baby DIDN'T sleep well?
I just want to ask the parents of babies to consider this idea: sleep begets sleep. Do you want your child to be rested, or do you want him/her to be "easy" to get to sleep? Because if you keep a baby up, you may find it is easier to get them to sleep because they are crashing. Americans know what crashing is, don't we? Many of us are crawling into bed wayyyy too late, swearing to go to bed earlier next time. We wake up with difficulty and function poorly in our tired state.
Imagine how your baby feels when you force him to crash every night for your own convenience? Because you don't want to take the time to soothe him when he is just beginning to get drowsy.
Imagine the toll this takes on his or her brain and learning capabilities. And they don't have coffee to help!
Consider how difficult it has been for you to get your baby to sleep even when you know he's overtired. I know I have wondered that many nights while rocking or trying to calm him down, "I know he's tired, why won't be sleep??" When babies become overtired, they get a second wind, just like we do. Fight or flight. They physically get a second release of hormones that make them return to a wakeful state. This is what happens if you keep a baby up past his natural time to fall asleep.
Do you ever find it hard to fall asleep even when you know you're overtired? Put yourself in your baby's socks!
Instead, if we as parents watch our babies and strive to find that time when they are becoming a little less wakeful, a little more tired, and start soothing them then - we help them fall asleep peacefully and get the rest their little brains need.
More on this, I need to put Declan down for a nap. Haha.
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