9 Months Old: It Feels Like We Have Arrived

So much has happened with Declan over the past few months.  And apparently there was a lot going on with me and I haven't had time to update my blog and tell the world.  Declan started crawling at 7 1/2 months, and days after, started pulling up and cruising too.  It all happened so fast!  Maybe that's why I'm busier...hmmm...

Teeth Update
He has had 2 bottom teeth for a while now (I may have already blogged about that?) and he's just started working on his two uppers.  The gums have been swollen for a day or two and I just noticed before I put him down for his nap how red one of them is.  He is still all smiles though.  Teething has never been hard for him.  I blamed a lot of his extra fussy times on teething and we often gave him Tylenol when he probably didn't need it.  "Teething" has never disrupted his sleep, thank God.  I like to think that it's because he's rested and we've trained him well how to sleep.  I'll get to that later though... you know I will.

Talking
He vocalizes a lot, saying "ma ma ma ma" and "ga ga" and more recently loud squawking.  Still working on "da da."

Personality
His sense of humor is coming out.  He likes to make us laugh with his funny faces and playing, "Nighttime, Daytime!" and "Where's the Baby?"  He gives me hugs a lot, and sometimes open-mouthed kisses on the cheek.  He's stingy with hugs when it comes to other people, though.  I think the only other people he has shared them with are Ryan and Aunt Ruthie.



Feeding
The past two weeks I have relaxed a lot on what I give him to eat.  I was following the 4 day rule: introduce a new food and wait 4 days before introducing another one in order to check for allergies.  Thankfully, we haven't had any allergic reactions despite my sudden lack of carefulness.  I am still not giving him any nuts, honey, and we're avoiding eggs, although he does get it in breads and probably other things I don't think about.  I'll ban those until he's a year old.  Anyway, so he's pretty much eating miniature versions of what we're eating.  I'm trying to give him lots of practice with self-feeding.  It's kinda tough though because of the mess (c:  Oh well.

I am still nursing him 4-5 times a day.  He's become very difficult to nurse and doesn't seem interested most of the time.  It started out as him stopping to give me a hug or smile at me.  Then it went to stopping to make a funny face or trying to get into a crawling position while still nursing.  At the back of my mind I wondered if I should discourage these interruptions, but we were both enjoying them and laughing so much that it became one of our favorite parts of the day.  I asked other moms what they thought and nobody seemed to think I should stop him, so I let it go on.  Now, he's wanting to switch so frequently or crawl off and play, then get upset when I assume he's done, that it's become a hassle.  I've started to think that maybe he's not getting enough.  I would be more worried, but I was planning on weaning him at 1  year.  I know they don't often wean themselves before 1 year, but it wouldn't be hard to head that direction if I wanted to.  We'll keep trying for 3 more months though.  Any thoughts on this?

Acid Reflux and Chiropractic Treatment
I'm so happy to report that his reflux has not made a comeback at all.  There were a couple of days in which he was extra fussy and spitty.  I still don't know what that was about - could have been a relapse.  I was very grumpy and got depressed during that time, not knowing what to do next if the reflux was back.  Thankfully it only lasted a couple of days.  Maybe it was something he ate, maybe he was overtired, maybe we'll just blame it on the mysterious "catch all" - teething.  He had more vertebral sublaxation than normal at his previous visit 10 days ago, but he had fewer at his appointment this morning.  Dr. Adams said it was probably due to his pulling up and plopping on his bottom that was throwing his spine out of whack more than normal.  Anyway, it was a good report today, and I have a happy baby to go along with it so... yay!  We go again in 2 weeks.

SLEEP!
And now, my update on  his sleep.  I save the best for last (c:  It has taken a long time for us to get over the overtired hump.  It's a crazy uphill battle, but we're there, finally.  More often than not, Declan takes two 1 - 1.5 hour naps a day, and he's now sleeping 12-13 hours a night.  Last night he went to bed at 6:30pm, woke up around 5am to eat, and went back to bed until I woke him at 7:45 (not sure how much longer he would have slept).  I am pretty sure that's a new record for him.

After all of the frustration and going back and forth, what ended up being the best things for us was:

• The Nap Hour - leaving him to sleep, cry, or play for an hour at naptime no matter what - no exceptions.  Naptime is at 9am and 1pm (biological sleep windows for most babies age 4-8 months).
• Inadvertently teaching him to self-soothe.  I was still rocking him to sleep a couple of weeks ago when he started to squirm and fuss in my arms every time I started rocking.  This got frustrating for me so I just started to put him in his crib when this happened.  To my surprise, he'd go to sleep minutes after I left the room.  So I started to skip the rocking and just put him in his bed.  He usually cries for a few minutes and goes to sleep.  I saw an improvement in both the length of his naps and his nighttime sleep once I did this.
• Choosing an appropriately early bedtime - His sweet spot is between 6:15 and 6:30.  It's not too early or too late.  The night goes smoothly and I usually have to wake him the following morning to maintain our schedule.  

Starting tonight, we're going to work on sleeping through the night.  He's still taking one feeding, but it's moving later and later most nights.  And he's skipped it a few times, so I think he just needs a little nudge to get him sleeping 12-13 hours straight.  I'd let him sleep longer but I think we're already pushing the limitations of his diaper... (c;

Is Your Baby Overtired?

"I don't let my child's naps hinder
me from doing my grocery shopping!"

Sleep is under-emphasized in our society.  We burn the candle at both ends.  We work weekends.  Yet our kids are important to us, too, so we tote them around, taking them with us to Wal-mart at all times of the day and night and bringing them along to parties.  The general consensus is that you've got a "good sleeper" if your kid will crash anywhere.

The problem with this is the quality of sleep.  In a nutshell, sleep is a complicated state that occurs best when it's the right time.  Fluctuating hormones cause us all to enter sleep states and wake states throughout a 24 hour period (see the Napping Window).  It is possible to put a child to sleep during a wake state (although it will probably take a long time!) but because of the increased cortisol hormone, the sleep will not be as deep and the sleep period will probably be short.

All of that to say that, after 4 months of age, a routine helps to train a child's body when it's time to sleep. 

Just as important as the timing is the place.  Although she looks completely zonked, a soft blanket and a shopping cart are no substitute for her bed.  You're familiar with sleep cycles, right?  Fall asleep, get deeper into sleep, cycle up to a lighter sleep state, and then without waking, go back into a deeper sleep.  Many cycles per night.  The reason that still, quiet sleep is the most restorative is because the motion and the noise hinder getting into that deep sleep state.  Her mind is not able to rest.

I don't want to make anyone mad, but I do think that parents are sadly unaware of some facts about their child's sleep.  First of all, some things I've heard parents say.

•  My child just isn't the type to conform to a sleep routine.
•  My child doesn't need as much sleep as other children.
•  Our family is on the go.  It's best if our child just gets used to it now!

If you've found yourself thinking or saying something like this before, please consider some of these symptoms of over tiredness in babies and young children.

•  Waking grumpy vs. happy
•  Unable to play happily by themselves during their wake time

He crashed.  Kinda funny, but
really just kinda sad.

•  Unexplained fussing
•  Yawning or rubbing eyes a lot
•  Fidgety or spazzy
•  Easily startled
•  Irregular sleep patterns
•  Fights naps and/or bedtime
•  Random unexplained night wakings

•  Complains of headache or stomach ache
•  Seemingly not tired when you know they should be
•  Waking within minutes after being put down for a nap
•  Crashing randomly

Imagine what it feels like when you haven't gotten enough sleep.  Miserable, right?  What's work like the day after you haven't gotten enough sleep?  I'll skip to the chase because I think you get my drift.  A bad attitude and a hard-to-pin-down schedule today are the least of your concerns when your child is sleep deprived.  Weissbluth writes, "Small but constant deficits in sleep over time tend to have escalating and perhaps long-term effects on brain function."  Not to mention the affect sleep has on health.  Some long-term affects of a child who does not get healthy sleep can be decreased mental focus, insomnia, ADD and ADHD.  People take medicine and suffer from these ailments that might have never occurred had they been getting enough sleep.

Eliminating a child's sleep deficit is not easy, but anything you can do to help your child get more sleep (the right kind of sleep... still, quiet, consolidated, and regular) will benefit their health and development.  If you want to get started, you know the book I'll recommend.  I love to talk about this stuff (can you tell?) so please let me know if I can be of any support.

Declan's Chiropractor Visit #2

Just got back from Declan's second visit with Dr. Adams.  He adjusted him again and talked to me about what the last couple of days have been like.  He also looked at the 66 pictures I brought him on a thumb drive at his request.

First of all, the past couple of days have been surprisingly normal.  The reason it's surprising is because Declan has not had any Prevacid since Monday morning.  The last time that we took him off of his medicine was after my 4 weeks of dairy elimination (around Thanksgiving).  After he missed his 2nd dose (less than 24 hours), he had a very rough night.  He was gagging and gushing during his feeding that evening, and then he was up every 2 or 3 hours.  I can just assume it was heartburn.  The next day we put him back on it and went on as normal, so I know he was still experiencing symptoms at that point.  So, the decision to take him off of it after Monday's appointment was a cautiously optimistic one. 

Declan recently started sleeping 12-13 hours at night (before we took him off of the Prevacid).  I was a little worried this progress would be damaged if we took him off, but he's maintaining it.  (phew!)  That is the "big one" in terms of indications that his first adjustment helped something.  He's also spitting and spewing less (although it's not completely eliminated).  So, he's either finally outgrowing his acid reflux this week or the adjustments are helping (c:


While looking at Declan's pictures, Dr. Adams said that Declan definitely had birth trauma.  I wasn't expecting to hear that.  When I was picking out the pictures, I looked closely but I didn't think I saw any strong trend of a tilted head.  These are a few that he pointed out in particular:

Turned to the left

Turned to the left

Turned to the left

Turned to the right but slight tilt to the left

He said this was one of the most telling pictures because he's holding his own head, camera is dead center in front of him, and there's still a tilt to the left.

Tilt to the left

Slight turn to the left

Tilt to the left

Turned to the right but tilted to the left

He said that Declan definitely had birth trauma, but it isn't so obvious in more recent pictures because he has gained neck strength.  He said we still might notice it when Declan starts to get tired. 

Now Dr. Adams wants us to have 3 more appointments over the next month and he'll re-examine, but he feels like Declan will be reflux free by then.  He said some kids do take longer but he doesn't think that will be Declan based on the progress we've already seen.

I am playing devil's advocate in my head, just because I don't like to be a sucker.  And because Ryan is a little skeptical of my whole "Chiropractors are Magical" theory.  Declan very well could be outgrowing his reflux on his own (most babies do it by 12-18 months old).  Financially, is it the right decision to go on with adjustments?  After 3 more appointments, we'll have spent $250.  Declan's Prevacid is almost $60 a month.  If he's going to deal with reflux til he's a year old and need the Prevacid, we'll come out even by treating it now.  If he's outgrowing it on his own at almost 8 months old, then we're "wasting" our money. 

I like to think of the unknown things we may be treating, though, by correcting his vertebral sublaxation.  A healthy spinal column enables the body to heal itself, and also allows for optimal immunity.  I don't know if it's a proper way to look at it, but I think adjustments are kind of like a tune-up?  It's preventative maintenance, too.  That is hard to put a price on since we don't know what the future holds.  Financial isn't the only angle to consider, but unfortunately it's a big factor.  It has to make sense to Ryan.

Would love to hear arguments either way if you've got an opinion.

Declan's First Visit to the Chiropractor

I took Declan to his first appointment with Dr. Adams, a local chiropractor who also has a degree in Pediatrics, this morning.  I got a lot of encouragement from my friends for looking into alternate treatment for him.  Some people were confused.  I think that, despite how awesome and practical the work that chiropractors do, it is really, really misunderstood.  Somebody needs to promote them.  I'm doing my part!

The reason I am having Declan see a chiropractor is mostly for treatment of his acid reflux, but I also know that keeping his spine in alignment will "fix" or prevent other problems that we may never even know about.  The list of ailments that preventing vertebral sublaxation can prevent is extensive.  Common things that you might take your child (or yourself) to the doctor for, like ear infections, unexplained crying, growing pains, poor concentration, allergic reactions, digestive problems, etc. are very successfully treated by a chiropractor.  I learned a new term today... (did you see me use it in a sentence? (c;)

vertebral sublaxation

"A lesion or dysfunction in a joint or motion segment in which alignment, movement integrity and/or physiological function are altered, although contact between joint surfaces remains intact. It is essentially a functional entity, which may influence biomechanical and neural integrity."

Thanks, Wikipedia.

So I learned a lot.  I wish I had taken notes!  He asked me a lot of questions, then examined him with a thermo-sensor thingie.  Declan wiggled too much to get a good shot, but he got a good look at his neck vertebra and could see some sublaxation there, including a big bad one up by his head.  He adjusted him.  Declan cried a little on the first adjustment.  Dr. Adams said it wasn't supposed to hurt, but it must have been a pretty sore spot. 

He showed me on a model how Declan's esophagus might be being squeezed when his head is turned to one side.  That explains why Declan prefers nursing from one side as opposed to the other.  He also held him upside down by his feet (!!!) and then let go of one leg.  He said he was checking to see if Declan's head would turn the opposite way.  He tested both legs and it only worked on one side.  So there must have been something else out. 

He also told me that the Prevacid that Declan is on (which neutralizes the stomach acid) might be causing more harm than good.  I told him about how sometimes Declan was still spitting up when it was time for his next feeding, sometimes 3 or 4 hours after his last meal.  This confused me a lot because I know that babies' stomachs should be empty 2 hours after their last meal, especially with breast milk (it is very quickly and easily digested).  The Prevacid might actually be causing that problem because it is inhibiting the acid from digesting the food.  (A while back our pediatrician wanted to put Declan on a medicine that would speed digestion.  I didn't do it because I read on the Internet that it was a dangerous medicine.  Black-labeled by the FDA!).  So he would have been on 2 medicines and one of them would just be to "fix" the problem that the other one was causing!

Dr. Adams could not tell me to take Declan off of the Prevacid, but he did say that it might be hard to tell if the adjustments were working if his symptoms were masked.  It's my goal to get him off of the medicine, anyway, so I'm going for it! 

Before our visit was over, he had the receptionist take a picture of him and Declan.  This is cute and sentimental and all, but he also does it to track visual progress of his patients.  He actually asked me to bring in 50-100 pictures of Declan from birth to present in order to examine trends in his posture and how he holds his head.  He said he might be able to decipher if his sublaxation is a result of birth trauma.  So I have a fun project ahead for Thursday!  Dr. Adams also had me bring in Declan's carseat and he showed me some problem areas on it and told me what I can do to make it better for Declan's spine.  Awesome!

After the adjustments, the doctor said it's not uncommon for babies to take a 4-5 hour nap, or have a big diaper, haha.  Well, he just woke up from his 45 minute nap, so much for that.  Anyway, we have a follow-up on Thursday and he might get examined and adjusted again.  I should add that the examinations and consultation on kids is free, so if you're in the area and are curious about seeing if your child might benefit from a chiropractor (I tend to believe it's great for overall wellness, not just for treating problems), it couldn't hurt to check it out!  The adjustment cost was $50.  Financially, it was an easy decision for us (his Prevacid costs $60 a month!).  A small price to pay for my son's health, especially when it's medicine-free (no negative side affects!), and it allows for his body to heal itself.  I'll be making appointments for Ryan and I, too (c:

STTN: The Loaded Question

"How is your little one sleeping?"

Is it just me, or when this question is asked amongst new moms it's almost like a test.  Sleeping through the night (STTN).  It's like the ultimate trophy for new moms.  If you've got it, you must be some kind of awesome (in other words, some kind of heartless woman who can let their baby cry it out -- aka I'm jealous of you now).  If you don't, you must be exhausted, you poor thing!



I avoid asking the question because I am afraid of my tendency to spew advice before it is asked for.  I'm in an awkward place where I don't have credentials or experience -- let alone a perfectly sleeping baby --  to give me any right to go telling other moms what they could be doing better.  I just have a passion, an awesome book, some reading I've done on the Internet, and a bunch of experiments I've run on my own kid.

Anyway, that's my disclaimer, and this is just my opinion.  I think it's awesome if your baby sleeps through the night.  I wouldn't mind it if Declan decided to start doing it tonight.  He used to for 11 blessed weeks.  I took them for granted... but that's beside the point.  I was very thankful to learn from Weissbluth that it's perfectly healthy and normal for babies 6 weeks - 9 months to have 1 or 2 night feedings.  What a load off!  That made me kinda realize that there is a lot of pressure from the American culture to get your baby sleeping through the night as soon as possible.  It's a big challenge.  Sure, I'd prefer that he slept 10-12 hours straight instead of waking up about 7hrs in to eat, but knowing that he's not "behind" really makes it not so bad.  At least for me.

Hoping it takes the pressure off of you.  If your baby is waking once or twice to eat and going right back to sleep, you've got it good.  Realize that the pressure you might feel is coming from our demanding, competitive culture, don't let it bother you if your baby isn't sleeping through the night.  Just my two cents (c:

******Update********
When Declan was about 9 months and 1 week old, I used extinction to eliminate the night feeding.  It took about 4 nights of consistently not going to him, or having Ryan go in to check on him if he was really worked up), and he then started sleeping 11-13 hours straight through pretty consistently.  Every so often he'll fuss in the night - sometimes all-out cry.  This is usually because he is overtired from a couple of non-routine days.  Other times I have no idea why he does it.  Usually if I wait 10 minutes before going to him, he goes back to sleep for the rest of the night.

The Napping Window

This info is for a baby 4-8 months old.

If your baby isn't sleeping as well or as much as you think he or she should, then you're probably always searching for something else to try.  You're clinging to hope that maybe this is the key.  If you're like me, you optimistically go ahead and make yourself a to-do list for next week because you just know you're going to have all of this free time to kill while your baby sleeps.

In case you don't know, my Declan (7 months old) is was a serial cat napper.  He would take four to five 30-45 minute naps a day.  Not only was this frustrating because I'm supposed to be working from home, but I knew deep down that it wasn't healthy.  I know that consolidated sleep is best (did you know that?) and that 30 minutes is like 1 sleep cycle... no bueno. 

The past couple of days I learned some more.  Short naps can be an indicator of over tiredness.  How did I miss that one?  I guess I didn't think that falling short of the recommended 14 hours minimum of sleep for his age by just an hour (he was getting about 13 hours in a 24 hour period... on good days) would still have him being so overtired that it would affect him this way.  But I'm here to say that almost enough sleep is not good enough!  The deficit, no matter how tiny you may think it is, can still cause sleep problems (like short naps, or night wakings... check, check).

So now I have something for you to try!  (Get your to-do lists ready (c;)

If your routine is loose, like, your baby is napping at different times every day (outside of a 30 minute flex range), then you may feel like you don't have a good idea of when your baby naturally grows tired.  Or maybe you feel like you do.  Either way, consider this:  very common nap windows occur at 9am and 1pm.  If your baby sleeps past 7-7:30am-ish, you might want to consider waking him or her at 7 each day in order to maintain a routine.  I know, I know, it hurts if you are accustomed to sleeping in.  But if your little one is having sleep problems, think of it as part of the solution.  Feed, play with, change your baby, etc.  But at about 8:45am, start soothing your baby down for the first nap.  Your baby probably won't seem tired at this time, but understand that you are trying to catch them before they get too tired.  When a baby gets too far into the "tired zone," their bodies release hormones to keep them awake.  That's why they fight sleep if they're overtired. "It's not logical, it's biological."  Whenever Declan fights his naps, I know it's because I waited too long to put him down.  So, the goal is to get them to sleep as close to 9am as possible. 

Over a couple of days of trying this, you may find that your baby needs to take his/her naps earlier or (be careful with this one) later.  9am and 1pm are common nap windows, but it's up to you to tell if that needs some tailoring.  For Declan, 9am and 1pm happen to work great, although he has been fighting his 1pm nap for the past 2 days, I might try to put him down at 12:45 (start soothing at 12:35) today.

Focusing on these nap windows has Declan taking 1hr 15min (sometimes longer) naps at 9am and 1pm.  I also give him another nap at 4:30pm which is ideally an hour, but it is preferable that the baby has an early bedtime rather than a 3rd nap.  We have found, at least for now, that Dec won't go down for the night unless he goes to sleep at 8pm, not a minute earlier.  I suspect that he's too overtired to calm down by then, so my plan is to get him rested up through our new improved nap routine and then try an earlier bedtime in a week or two. 

As always with baby sleep, when you're trying something new give it 4 days.  After trying it consistently for 4 days, you'll know if it's working or not.  Don't be surprised (but you're welcome to be impressed) if better naps help nighttime sleep, too!

Giving Him the First Year, My Practice of Mothering

Click to read others' practices in Sarah's Practices of Parenting Carnival on Monday, February 6.

Sarah at Emerging Mummy asked her readers to share their practices of mothering.  She has a really awesome series on her own practices.  I loved the idea, but I didn't think I would submit anything myself.  It came to me today.  Ryan, my husband, was reminding me of a principle my great-grandmother talked to him about over Christmas: give them the first year.  My great-grandmother (My 7 1/2 month old son Declan's great-great at 89 years old!) was a little bit of an entrepreneur.  She had consignment shops, a house cleaning service, and she was involved at church over the years.  When she was a young mother, though, she put these things on hold to focus on her babies. 

I think about this principle whenever I feel outside pressure to compromise Declan's schedule.  For our family, giving him the first year translates to staying home a lot.  Babies need more sleep than most people (Americans?) think.  His feeding, nap, and bedtime routines are very important to me in order to maintain his comfort and sense of security.  I want to rock him in his nursery and for him to be able to sleep in his own bed, still and quiet and clean in a fresh diaper with his blanket and his white noise; I want him to know where he is when he wakes; I want him to know that I'll come to him with big smiles when he finishes a good nap.  These things are his to rely on and he can feel that all is safe and normal.

There are things that Ryan and I miss out on because of our dedication (some may call it obsession) to our son's routine.  We do make allowances for specific occasions and on Sundays for church (our service meets in the evening).  Although it would be nice to have more flexibility to run errands, have dinner parties with friends, or do other evening church functions, we believe we are doing something more important.  I don't know many other people with young babies that give up their pre-baby lifestyle.  I understand that decision and sadly I think it's a strong aspect of Western culture, but I can't honestly say I support it (even though it's none of my business).  My husband and I believe that through this temporary sacrifice (which, let's face it, is just the beginning -- you're a parent by the way!), he will grow into a healthier, happier, smarter, and self-controlled child.

7 Months Old: All But Crawl

We're 7 months into this deal.  In case you haven't noticed, I've been making an effort to note the developmental advances he's made and record some of the things I want to remember about him at each monthly milestone.  It's already fun and eye-opening to look back at how he has changed.  I don't have a real baby book, so I'm sure one day I'll find some way to preserve these entries.

At 7 months old, he's not quite crawling.  Since the week before Christmas he has been experimenting with getting up on his knees and rocking back and forth.  More recently he spends most of his tummy time like this, whereas before it was pretty infrequent.  As of last Friday, I saw him go from this position to sitting.  I wasn't expecting this to happen before crawling, but I'm so glad because most of the time he prefers to sit instead of be on his tummy.  So now he has the ability to do it without my help (c: 

In addition to that skill, he's shown a lot of interest in pulling up.  He tries to pull up on our dining room chairs, the couch, his crib, dresser, or changing table, and of course reaches for our kneecaps when we get close enough.  He's gaining strength and confidence to make his limbs do what he wants them to.



Vocally, he's still a chatterbox when he gets going.  He likes to repeat, "RaRaRaRaRa" among other things.  He has taken to squealing/screaming/screeching/chirping really loud.  So loud and repeatedly I sometimes want to apologize to our downstairs neighbors who have two babies.  Usually the outbursts are with joy, but he sometimes uses them to express frustration.  Like if he's sitting in his high chair while I get his food ready and he's getting impatient.  One of the funniest things he does is clench his gums, open his eyes really wide and raise his eyebrows, and hold his breath while he turns red and clenches his fists.  I have no idea what this is about... I think he just likes the look of bewilderment on my face when he does it.

Over Christmas I transitioned him back to 2 solids feedings a day.  I know that what time of day he eats what doesn't matter to him, but I like giving him fruit and cereal in the morning and veggies in the evening (c: The fruits he has tried are just bananas and plain applesauce.  He usually eats those with blended up oatmeal.  It has taken longer than I thought it would, but he has come to love these.  The veggies he has tried are carrots, green peas, green beans, acorn squash, broccoli, spinach, and most recently, avocado.  I have some yellow squash in the fridge that he'll try next.  When he tries something new, it's always with a grimace and a gag, at least on the first few bites.  The only exception has been spinach.  Surprisingly, he took to that like it was his everyday favorite from the first bite.  He'll eat it cold, too (ew!).

This month I have finally managed to make myself stick to a schedule (mostly, anyway) when it comes to his sleep.  I would have thought, knowing myself and how I like to make lists and schedules, that this would have happened on its own long ago.  The problem is that even if things are going good, I have to wonder if a change would make it even better, so I change it up.  And we get thrown off.  So the past few weeks this is the schedule I've been keeping.

6:30-7am - His wakeup.  If he wakes up earlier he has to stay in bed til then.  If he is still asleep past 7:15 or so I wake him up.  The vast majority of mornings he wakes around 7am though.  I give him his medicine first thing.

8:00am - Nurse

8:30am - Fruit and Cereal

9:00am - Nap#1.  Finally these are stretching out to be an hour or more.

11:30am - Nurse

1pm - Nap#2.  Ideally, an hour or more.  Unfortunately though this one is still often short (30min).  I have been letting him cry for up to an hour.  Once he went back to sleep for another 45 min.  It's really frustrating when this one is short because a third nap comes at a really awkward time and can interfere with his bedtime.

3:00pm - Nurse

4pm - Variable Nap#3

6:00pm - Medicine

6:30pm - Nurse

7:00pm - Veggies

7:15pm - Bath

7:45pm - Nurse

8:00pm - Bedtime

Then he'll usually wake up around 2 or 3am for another feeding.


There are still improvements to be made.  His naps are still too short, and his bedtime is still too late.  This isn't just my opinion - short naps are indicative of over tiredness.  His bedtime was earlier - we tried for over 2 weeks to get him to go to bed at 7.  The problem was not getting him to sleep, it was getting him to stay asleep.  But I know that those wakeups that came after the earlier bedtime are also an indication of not getting enough sleep.  I know it sounds crazy.  But babies his age need at least 14 hours of sleep, and he's only getting about 13 on good days.  It doesn't sound like a big gap, but that hour or more that he doesn't get every day is what is causing the problems that we're having.  Most people don't realize how much sleep babies actually need.

I found a Godsend, Weissbluth has a blog.  While he can't answer all of the questions himself, there are a lot of moms on there who are extremely helpful. 

Babies Declan's age who are successfully on the Weissbluth method go to bed before 6pm, have 1 or 2 wake ups for night feedings, sleep until 6-7am, and take 2-3 solid (1-2hr) naps per day.  The bedtime is early, and yes, it does limit what we can do in the evenings a lot.  Our church meets at night.  We had determined a long time ago that Sunday nights would be an exception, a night where he could stay up later.  But now I'm wanting to get back into doing the Women's Bible Study on Wednesday nights, as well as Zumba on Thursday nights.  So it is a conflict.

I am having to remember a few principles.  One is that it is important to protect the sleep schedule.  Now that he's older, I don't have to be home all the time.  The time between his 2nd nap (once he drops the 3rd nap) and bedtime will be a great time to get him out of the house, but we'll need to be back in time to get him in bed.  The second principle is one that my Great Grandmother taught me - to give them the first year.  As a mom, you really give them more than that, but it is helpful for staying strong and justifying your "strange behavior" to others when they don't understand why you don't want to go out after 6pm.  I have been accused of "not living."  That's not it at all.  It's just that I am giving Declan the first year.  I'm trying to set him up to be well-rested, comfortable, secure.  I'm trying to give him good sleeping and eating habits that he will hopefully carry for the rest of his life. 

Anyway, I have a small soapbox for this.  Maybe I'll express myself fully in another entry.  For now, my little boy is asleep and I should be too.  Goodnight (c:

OMG, we have a REAL baby!

I don't know if this happens to all new moms, but lately the fact that we have a real live baby, and yes we are really living this life, hits me like cold water to the face.  He does all of these famous baby things, like sitting up, shaking rattles, smiling and babbling, grabbing my face, hugging/kissing, etc.  He's starting to show preferences and opinion.  Sometimes he doesn't want to play in his jumper, he'd rather roll around on the floor.  And sometimes he wants be held and bounced.  Sometimes he is thrilled to be kissed on, and other times he just wants that object 6 inches out of reach and could care less about me. 

All of these things make him more and more of a real person to me.  Our relationship is awakening by leaps and bounds this month.  As Gail put it, my heart is "tied to his."  I miss him when he goes down for the night and it will be hours before I see him again (I don't miss him much during his 30 minute daytime naps...).  I love seeing him hold a toy close to his face, analyzing and calculating.  Then just a second later, wave his arms wildly and suddenly topple sideways. 

Despite the many times he's given me hope of his naps lengthening, he still takes only 30 minute naps for the most part.  He usually wakes up smiling, so I am assuming he's getting enough rest.  So it may be til he's 12-18 months til he starts taking long ones.  I'm finally beginning to accept it and realize that the occasional 2 hour nap does not indicate the breaking of a new normal.  Sheesh.

Nighttime sleep is mostly good.  We have improvements to make, and we've started using that darned ol' sleep training to get there.  After cereal, a bath, and one last feeding, he is either zonked and I can put him in his crib immediately or I rock him for a few minutes first.  We shoot for between 7:00 and 7:30 bedtime.  He goes down really easy, and life would be a dream, but 45 minutes later he winds up.  Ryan would go in there and burp him and calm him down for a second, and then we'd let him cry himself back to sleep.  It is tortuous.  The first night was an hour and a half, with Ryan going in there periodically to turn him over, rewrap him, and give him back his pacifier.  The second night we were encouraged when he cried only 45 minutes.  The third night, he cried for 6 minutes.  Fourth night, for 2 minutes.  We thought we were home free on the 5th night, but he cried for an hour and a half again.  We realized I had forgotten to give him his acid reflux medicine, so we got him up and let him stay up so we could wait the allotted amount of time and then feed him one more time and put him back to sleep.  That was last week.

This week I'm working on being  ALOT more consistent.  I'm taking Weissbluth's advice finally (he has always been right for us, I don't know why I try to experiment a bunch before realizing this again and again).  After 4 months, babies can start adjusting their sleep rhythms to a clock schedule (before 4 months, its best just to watch and respond to their drowsy signals--but have a set bedtime always!)  The past 3 days, Declan wakes between 6:15 and 7:30 (I'm bad, I should be waking him up at 7!), he takes his first nap at 9-9:30am, then 11-11:30am, 1:30-2:00pm, then 4-4:30pm.  And of course bedtime is 7-7:30.  Sometimes I'm tempted to put him down early if he's being a grump, or keep him up if he seems more wakeful, but I am curious to see how a fairly rigid schedule works for him since we've never tried it very consistently so I'm standing firm!  Hopefully between that and the sleep training, he'll stay down after bedtime until his feeding around 2:30am.  And okay, a small part of me still hopes his naps will suddenly grow longer with routine...

I've changed up his feeding routine, too.  I was totally over-zealous with the solid foods thing.  He keeps them down so well and enjoys the cereal so much (plus the whole novelty of it) that I jumped ahead and gave him 2 feedings a day as cereal when you're supposed to start out with one.  I justified it because we started solids kinda late -- at almost 5 months.  I didn't really tie it together because it was gradual - his feedings grew shorter and fussier, but oddly, he wanted to eat more often (I still don't really understand that).  So last week I stopped giving him his mid-morning cereal and just kept the evening feeding.  Within a day, his nursing sessions were more prolonged and relaxed.  His "I'm hungry" and "I'm full" signals are not ambiguous anymore since instead of fussing 30 seconds into the feeding, he will nurse good and then stop, smile, and if I offer him more he will either do so or push away.  So I'm super happy with that.

He's still dealing with the reflux.  Last week I reached 4 weeks of dairy elimination and took him off of the Prevacid to see if things had improved.  After being off of the medicine for a day, the symptoms came rushing back and it was clear that dairy was not the culprit.  I am changing pediatricians, so maybe we'll get some fresh ideas and a GI specialist referral.  Our other pediatrician is an excellent and qualified doctor, it's just that he makes me feel stupid.  He's kinda snippy.  When I felt the Zantac was not working for us, I asked him about what I should do.  He just said, "Take him off of it."  And I was like... well, what about the reflux?  I felt like I was having to drag information out of him.  Anyway, I've always kind of thought that, and that last experience was just enough to make me think we might do better with another doctor.

Doing better all the time, for the most part.  Gotta go make some supper.  Another day gone, but it was a productive one (c:

Listmakers Anonymous

I love the challenge of getting things done every day.  It's fun to me to have a list and accomplish things.  Multiply the thrill when I figure out a new system that theoretically helps me accomplish EVERYTHING by doing a little part daily.  I was sooo excited about getting a new whiteboard and working out my master plan on it, broken down into tasks for each weekday.  It hangs on the wall on the way out of our bedroom, so I face it several times a day and it gives me new motivation.

On the outside, it may just look like I want to have a spotless house.  But if I had a spotless house I would be so bored!  Don't get me wrong, I don't need more to do.  I rarely never get everything done on my list.  It's that constant drive to find a better and more efficient way to do things.  I think about it laying in bed at night: "this takes too long to do, how can I get it done faster?"

I know I'm not alone.  You may be like me if you enjoy making lists, hoard office supplies, over-challenge yourself on housework, or want to spend your Saturday mornings with the windows open, cleaning every room top to bottom, uninterrupted!  You love the feeling of checking something off the list.  Maybe you break down tasks on the lists to be more specific just so you can cross more things off.  Then, at the end of a long day, you enjoy how exhausted you feel as you bask in the improvements you've made.

In the spirit of list making, I wanted to start one of "Streamlining Processes" that helps get stuff done!  I'd love to hear your ideas and add to this list.

• When folding and putting away laundry, I only fold/hang clothes and towels and match socks.  Diaper rags, undies, and pjs just get thrown in a drawer. There's something therapeutic about throwing a handful of underwear in the drawer, but it did take a while to get there.  Sometimes I still want to fold them, but I've learned to embrace the chaos in organized places (c:

• Whenever I go from one room to another, I try to find something close at hand that belongs in the room that I'm going to.  That way I can just put it away later when I'm working in that room.

• I work on one room or set of rooms each week of the month.  With Declan, using every second counts.  When he's asleep I try to work, but when he's awake and playing on his own I do housework.  Having a system and predetermined area I'm going to work on keeps me from fiddling around trying to decide what I need to do.  Then everything gets a good scrubbing on a regular basis (c:

•  Theoretically, I like to keep the sink empty.  Stack your dirty ones on the counter, please.  It makes it so much easier to start cleaning the kitchen.  When the dishes start piling in the sink, I hate having to empty it before starting, what a drag!  Better yet, wash your dish and stick it in the dishwasher (in a perfect world - although I know Laura does this (c: )

My apartment is usually in some sort of mess.  It's small, but there's always something that needs to be cleaned.  I don't think it's ever been tidy all at once, but at least everything gets attention every now and then.  To tell you the truth, I like it like that.  I'm still always looking for a better process, though!  What are yours?