Silver Linings

This weekend has been full of bad news.

-grammy's in the hospital with respiratory problems
-grandma had a heart attack and awaiting a prescription
-shelby's dealing with so much stress her body's health is reacting fiercely
-megan might have uterine cancer - waiting on test results
-vic and roseanne are separated and probably going to get a divorce
-ruthie is dealing with depression
-dad's health is still bad and he changes doctors too often to really get help
-mom is now on medication and is stressed out
-nathaniel was in the hospital from having a stroke (he is our age)
-john and ellen's little chihuahua, pepe, unexpectedly died last friday
-my direct deposit was late (i don't know who to blame) and so our account is overdrawn

I'm not one to focus on the bad stuff or even let it bother me a whole lot, but that is a long list for one weekend. It wasn't even that bad of a weekend. But today I have a lot on my plate, including a big presentation at 3, and I'm in that odd position where I am not quite sick but something definitely isn't right. All night I tossed and turned with waves of nausea, cold sweats, all-over achey, weakness and shakiness. Even though I probably should feel like going back to bed and closing out the world with my covers, I've still got things to look forward to and they'll push me through the day. I'm going to ask my boss for time off in late June or July to go see Grammy in California. If we keep waiting until we can afford it or until I have enough vacation time then it may be too late. Every couple of months she is in and out of the hospital for this or that. She has never met Ryan. The past two years her hospital visits have carried more cause for alarm. I think we should go. I hope my boss understands. I look forward to getting permission, booking our flights, and settling into the knowledge that we are finally going to do something that needs to be done. I don't want to carry those regrets.

My presentation at 3 is another thing I'm looking forward to. I should have mixed feelings, but I'm more excited than afraid. I have worked very hard and developed a pretty slick Powerpoint presentation to help me convey the visual aspects of our proposed e-store. While mocking up some screen shots of the main parts such as the product listing and the shopping cart, it occurred to me that I could click through the slides and simulate clicking through the website. So I went ahead and created the whole shopping experience. My boss was really impressed by it - he even liked my design (finally). I had submitted several designs to him over the past few months trying to get closer and closer to the vision he was trying to convey. I had let it rest, because he had made it clear to me that our ad/design agency would be handling that part. It didn't bother me a whole lot, but in a way I felt like if he just saw me as a real designer instead of just someone who has above-average design skills then he would be turning to me to get the job done and I would be more valuable. Anyway, I guess the truth is that I haven't been trained in real design, really. I just know what I am capable of and I would love a challenge and recognition in the artistic area because its one of my strong points.

So, who am I kidding. I'm just having a rotten day today. You all know what I need, so if you want to, I could really use a little prayer. Thanks (c: